At the Age of 39 (Sailor Poem #1)

At the Age of 39 9 March 98

Been a crooked path
that has brung me to the present
was a moonless night
made me finally understand.
Such a foolish heart
that I kept inside me beating
that my ownself kept defeating
as I learned to be a man.

I had a gentle side
that I damn well kept it hidden
had a woman's love
that I watched just slip away.
I had the things you need
thought it wasn't what I needed
just my ownself been decieving
just the piper left to pay.

As the morning's break
one by one and years start slipping
you check your pockets...
what you find you call your life.
As you greet the dawn
staring down at dusty boot heels
staring down at how your heart feels
at the age of 39

If I called you up
would you slam down the reciever?
If I called collect
would you lend this man your time?
If I took my pride
and I tossed it off behind me
knowing ties could never bind me
would you even let me speak?

If I called your name
would you turn around to face me?
If I called you up
would you let the phone just ring?
If I took my heart
and my heart is all I own now
feeling colder than a stone now
would you let me back again?

If I called you up
Would you crawl me 'cross the carpet?
If I bared my soul
would you let my heart just bleed?
If I closed my eyes
and I made a silent promise
if you knew I meant it honest
would you make some room for me?

Ed
Shoalwater Bay, Australia