Want some cheese with that WHINE??

You know, I gotta see this Corey guy that got kicked off American Idol. He must be one serious hunk of a man. I say that because apparently, or rather supposedly, he had an affair with Paula Abdul. I happen to know that during that time period she was not looking for a relationship. How do I know this? Because I tried to get her to go out with me and her e-mail back said, and I quote, "Now and for the forseeable future I am not looking for any type of relationship. Especially with you, loser." Hahaha, she's so cool. I really like how she ended it with that little joke there. Our kids will be so beautiful.

Navy stuff. Skip this next part if you're a disinterested civilian as it will at no point become interesting to you. There will be other stuff, cool stuff, below it.
We got orders on a guy today. He will be here in a few months and will be paid an additional $800 per month for the duration of his 3 year tour for accepting these orders. In other words, he will get $28,800 just for taking orders. On top of several thousand per month in overseas COLA. On top of the money for housing. And most importantly, on top of the money they're paying him already to do the job.
Orders. Sorry, I'm stuck on the word orders, since now they are actually more like requests or suggestions. Although telling someone that "I'm under suggestion" does not have quite the same manly feel as "I'm under orders." But maybe that's just me.
Apparently Japan, a place that once they get someone here they can't get them to leave, is considered hardship enough to warrant AIP (Assignment Incentive Pay) up to $1,200 per month. You know, the hardship of a large, stable economy, plentiful quality goods, great housing, efficient public services, state of the art technology, a polite and accomodating local population and nearly non-existent crime rate. Yeah, spank my butt and pay me to go. Sounds good.
But that is not what makes me afraid. Nope. It chaps my hide quite a bit because when I got orders here the first time I called the detailer and said, and again I quote, "I really don't care to go there. See, I'm trying to adopt a kid and we just got us a nice place in the country. Can I maybe go to Norfolk instead?" He was at least a man about it. "Nope, sorry. You fit what I need, but I'll give you an extra month to get ready." He forced me over here and now, 11 years later, I'm still here. But the thing is I didn't get no "pretty please" from him. I didn't the option to accept or decline. I didn't walk away with the impression that it was up to me to tell the navy what I would or wouldn't do. And I was an E-7, not some kid like I'm talking about now. And I didn't get paid extra for being so understanding either. I got an economy class ticket on a 19 hour flight and a pat on the back. And when they did decide that being here was so terrible that they needed to pay extra they did not grandfather anybody. So to recap: If they made you come here against your will you get nothing extra, just the satisfaction of a job well done. Everyone else will be given additional compensation.
My fear, and I'm pretty good about sensing these things, is that we are teaching the young sailors today that a) It's really all about the money,and b) You can question anything we tell you. Especially if you don't agree with it.
Does it directly affect me? Not really, I'm 141 days from retirement. So unless they blow it and I end up speaking Arabic in my old age, I don't really have a dog in this fight. Still, I wonder if 10 years or so down the road, when the youngin's of today are the old goats of tomorrow, there might be morale or discipline problems in a navy rasied up in a "me first" enviornment. If you pay people extra to go do the job they're being paid to do in the first place, and you change the rules, relax the standards and replace good order and discipline with slogans and catch phrases, what do we get in return down the road?
>>>END NAVY<<<

I like etouffe. I am in no way confident that I have spelled that correctly, but surely I'm close (You're not close...and stop calling me Shirley!). Anyway, I made me up a pot of etouffe with hot, smoked sausage last night. Bein delicious. I also took my wife's needs into consideration and made her up some Mac & Cheese with diced ham. I'm good that way.

Oh dudes, American culture has got ahold of my sweet Thai baby and won't let her go. Yesterday I get a call on my cell. On my cell, not in my cell. She wants me to go to the commissary. So I said Ok and what did she need. Here's the entire list:

• Twinkies
• Frito Corn Chip Curlies (Honey BBQ Flavor)
• Green Tea

By the way, is it just me, or does $7 for just that little bit seem steep? Saturday, when we did our real grocery shopping she had to ask what both the Fritos and the Twinkies were. Now she has an addiction. A jones. A monkey on her back. I am what you call appalled. Verily.

I was born at night. But not last night. (You know who you are and you know what I mean.)

Another true tale. Tolerance American Style: A lady wrote Dear Abby and said her husband had taken to smoking a cigar occasionally. She told him that she didn't like it so he would have to stop. His response was basically that he enjoyed them, so no. Now the wife states that she has fallen completely out of love with him and needs advice. Abby directed her to get him to counseling ASAP. Ladies, PLEASE!

First I cannot believe that she really fell out of love with him over that. I rather suspect it is more that she is pissed off that he discovered he had a set. She is not taking her failed attempt at emotional blackmail very gracefully.

Secondly, I suspect that she pulls the "if you loved me, you'd ____" card out early and often. Seems the sort who would want to keep her husband in his place.

Thirdly, Abby that was sure some kind of a BS answer. Husband finds a simple, enjoyable pastime. Wife gives ultiamtum. Husband politely suggests she blow the ultimatum out her blowhole. Wife seeks an ally. Abby steps in and suggests that if man thinks he is capable of deciding for himself what he does and does not enjoy then he must be taken for therapy immediately. All I can do is shake my head in dismay.

Like the way I did that in red, white and blue? I tell ya.

I have more, but I've been typing a while. I think the navy part could use some revision to bring more clarity to it. But what do I say about revising? That's right, JUST SAY NO.

Man, I have been getting a lot of comments and emails from my blog lately. And I'm talking about people I didn't already know. This is not good. I'm starting to feel a little pressure.

Any of you watch America's Top Model, or is it just me? I'm not ashamed. I love it. And I never miss LOST, Appentice, Survivor or Fear Factor. Or The West Wing. You gotta know what you want in life and I want sitcoms and riviting drama.

Regulus, Out

Travelin' Ed