Redneck...not a redneck?

Gunner had a quiz on his blog that I was drawn to like a moth to a flame. It wasn't a redneck quiz, but rather a white trash quiz. Now, I know that there are people who would deny us the use of the term white trash, because they say it is demeaning or something. But I would respond by saying that stepping in dog crap is rather distasteful too, but not exclaiming, "Crap! I stepped in crap.", does not mean there is not poo on your shoe. So we really need to accept that some people are just born white and trashy. It happens. I know, it's a rather tortured analogy, but I think you get the big, smelly picture.

So I got to thinking. Is redneckism/white trashiness an affliction or a condition? A learned skill or an indelible stamp on your DNA? I have pondered the question mightily over the last couple of minutes and think I can say, without fear of any serious contradiction, that I don't know.

I was not born wearing cowboy boots and I have never git alonged a little doggie. But I like to wear them, spending as much as $700 on one pair. I never made the conscious decision that I was going to move into a Florida trailer park, be poor and not eat. But I nonetheless found myself in a Seffner trailer park surrounded by, we shall use the polite euphemism, "colorful characters". Yes siree Bob, it was a highlight of my life to watch 2 grown, shirtless, drunken "characters" circling their Ford Econoline van, popping off .22 rounds at each other just 50 feet from my window. I watched in wonder for a minute or so until the newspaper phrase "innocent bystander" crept into my head. Is this behavior learned or genetically unavoidable? I'm pretty sure I still don't know. So let's explore further.

I enjoy David Allan Coe and Confederate Railroad, but also think that Steely Dan and the old Pink Floyd really had it going on. I love the delta blues and sing along with pop songs. So...Redneck or not?

I have opinions and I am more than inclined to share them with you. But I will listen to, and appreciate, your point of view. I am a very patriotic soul, yet only marginally agree with the sentiment "America, love it or leave it." I am happiest when I live out in the country, but don't necessarily want my pickup all beat up with tobacco juice stains outside the driver's window. I have a battle flag on my truck, my tackle box and as a tattoo. I wear tailored clothes to work and am as likely to show up to a picnic in slacks as I am not likely to wear shorts. So?.... Red Trash or not?

Roseanne cracked me up. So does 2 1/2 Men. The Simpsons are my heros, but Hank Hill makes a good point. I would never live up north (again) but nearly all of my friends do. I would never go to a hairdresser but have no problem getting a manicure, albeit without the colorful paint or butterfly appliques. Trash Neck or not?

I suppose as we go through life... sit back, it looks like I'm going philosophical on ya... we pick up things, like lint on your pants leg. It's not like you can help it and it's not like you even notice. It just kinda hitches a ride with you. So yes, I guess I am calling your life experiences lint, but in a good way, I think.

And you will always become more flexible if you move a lot. I love boots, but never wore them in Japan. Why? Because a) No one else did, and b) no one else did because they're a pain in the butt to take off and put on over and over which you have to do in a nation where shoes come off at the door in most restaurants, offices, and all homes. Now I'm home and I wear them more than I did there, but still not exclusively because I got used to other footwear.

You become a little less proud of your Skoal can ring if you move out of Oklahoma and into, say, San Diego. Why? Because San Diego girls aren't all that interested in tobacco chewing yokels who wear their lack of formal education as a badge. The decision has to be made: Update my image or embrace celibacy. Don't know too many men so attached to Skoal that they're willing to be celibate for it.

So, in conclusion, because the wife just got up and that always marks the spot that this blog should conclude for the day, I think that my travels have taken off some of the definition I used to have, but there still remains a bit of the rural south, under educated, trailer park dweller in me to score a fairly respectable 44% on the White Trash-O-Meter.

aesthetically yours,

Ramblin' Ed