Friday, December 24, 2010

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.

I was probably right at 18 years old. Or 19. But not 17, of that I am sure. She was what I would suppose could best be described as, what?... pre-Goth. Kind of in the direction of what is now Gothic, but without all of the make-up and affectations. Anyway, back then I just found her dark and mysterious. She was Italian-American, as so much of my high school was back in the 1970's I knew her, from around school. Had one of those names that I had to stop and think about before I said it. One of them vowel ending names. It was DiFillippi or Boniocilli or something. Didn't matter since I never spoke to her.

Back in high school I was pretty sure that none of the girls were interested in me. Which is surprising, since more than a couple, who were for sure out of my little North Carolina swamp stomping self's league, went out with me. But I was always so surprised to get a yes from them, that apparently I never saw a pattern to it. But, I meander.

I was at a party. Or get together. Or bonfire. Or otherwise not all by myself. I believe it was a graduation party for someone who, unlike myself, wasn't going to still be trying to graduate two years past when they should. She was standing near me, turned, leaned into my ear and said, " Hey, let's take off and go to The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Well, hell! Me being all suave and debonaire like I was back then, replied, "Man, sounds good. But I don't really like to be scared that much." She laughed at me and told me I was going anyway. "Trust me, " she said, "you'll like it."

And while I had never even considered that there might be a movie about a transvestite Dr. Franenfurter making a gay monster...a musical at that!.... she was right. I did find it enjoyable. And we went another 2 dozen times or so, driving all the way into Tampa every Friday night.

In junior high, the pretty girl beside me was trying to strike up a conversation with me because, as we have previously established, I was pretty clueless about things. She ased me if I liked Deep Purple? And me, being all suave and debonaire like I was back then, replied, "I really prefer deep blue. But light purples aren't too bad." Her Dork-O-Meter pegged! "The group. The rock band Deep Purple." I tried, but did not recover so much as just smile back as she laughed. At least she laughed in amusement.

I got me some more stories of what all ignorant stuff I have done and stupid things I have said. They run the gamut from eating an omlette I was sure I wouldn't like (but I did), and not only because said cook came out to cook it for me in her underwear. While her mom was not amused squashed the idea in it's infancy, I must say I did appreciate the gesture.

I have tried to swim with alligators, but fortutiously was unsuccessful. Got stuck in the mud half way between the Gulf of California, which was much further off than it appeared, and the deserted highway running up from San Felipe, Mexico to Mexicali, CA. Got woke up by CHIPS, after spending the night with a girl in my camper on a hillside near Poway, CA only to discover that we were not as remote as we had thought because we were actually overlooking I-5. (That one continued at a Denny's a little while later when a table full of Troopers were laughing about us. So yes, I have shown my butt to a highway patrolman at least once.)

Basically, girls kinda lead me places and I just doofy along behind them.

Was driving home yesterday, listening to Outlaw Country on Sirius, and most of what they play isn't even country although I really like it. It ought to just be called Outlaw Music. Anyway, a song kicked off and the first line was, "If you're gonna be dumb then you gotta be tough." Can't argue with that.

It was a girl that turned me onto David Allan Coe. And though we've since gone off in our different directions, I will always be indebted to her for that.

Y'all can mosey on off if you want. This is the me-centric part of the post where I indulge myself. But if you're still here and you'd like, some videos from a couple of my favorite songwriters. I love great lyrics and these two are some of the best.
Lucinda, ladies first. Sure wish I had written this.



(Factoid: Ray Wylie Hubbard wrote UP AGAINST THE WALL REDNECK MOTHER for those old as me who can remember that.) I wish I'd written this one too, but I can't state anything simply.




Brad and Janet are forced to seek shelter in a nearby castle that is home to notorious sexual deviant Dr Frankenfurter and his army of debauched misfits, out
Ramblin' Ed

2 comments:

Blogger The Appalachianist said...

Apparently, a girl never gave you a dog. Want a puppy? Got two.

I ran across a Goth girl. I'm reading your blog and she's guarded by monkeys.

This is an old post...older than mine even, but Lucinda had a birthday this week.

7:18 AM  
Anonymous Samantha said...

Who ARE you!??

I just stumbled across your blog on the way to something unprofound, but entertaining none the less, and had to stop a while because your blog turned out to be more entertaining than what I was searching for.

I'm also comforted that a southern boy like you was not intimidated by RHPS. Oddball and quirky is so much more interesting!

You're a pretty good writer. Ever thought of publishing? Just wondering.

4:38 PM  

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