Gotta stop tryin' to write at Oh Dark Thirty
It is about 6 AM. I sit here waiting to hear the sprinklers come on. They used to come on for an hour and a half once. Then I changed it to thirty minutes twice (6 AM & 8 PM), then to fifteen minutes twice and now I have them at twelve minutes twice. That's right, I live in a dynamic, everchanging world. A world of my own making. A world where well water hitting a plastic sprinkler head and going hurtling off across some dark corner of my yard is an event worth anticipating. Um...yeah.
I like words. Sometimes I believe that I could write that I pulled a band aid off of my second to last toe, and do it in such a way that it was not a statement but a story. That is partly a gift. But it is also partly a curse.
A curse, you say, how? Two ways. First, it is almost impossible for me to just say something. A thought starts out simple enough in my brain, but as it winds it's way out towards the orofice which intends to speak (and I started out to write "mouth", thus illustrating the affliction) my brain keeps tossing stuff at it like it was a cat running for the door and a kid was pelting it with play doh patties, many of which would stick. So you get this long, heavy, play doh encrusted (I know, there is nothing good that is encrusted or does that just apply to food?) cat of a sentence. OK, Ed, stop talking now.
Secondly, it is purt near impossible to give a simple yes/no answer. So there you have it. My afflictions laid bare. That is, however, probably prefferable to seeing me afflicting a laid bear. So I accept your thanks for sparing you that.
Reminds me of a joke, the punchline of which is, "So...where's that woman you wanted me to wrestle?" Hahahahaha...I sure do crack me up.
I am traffic averse. Don't like it. Mostly, I don't like other people too much and traffic is just lots and lots of other people with travel mugs and attitudes. You know it's true. With that said I must also add, I have no decent way to work. I used the little PC in my dash yesterday to learn that my average speed to work was a whopping 13 MPH. No jokes Buckwheats and Buckweena's, that WAS life in the fast lane. To steal a raw, wailing lament from somewhere..."Oh! Woe is me." (I hope that was Shakespeare. Chicks dig it when you quote Shakespeare.)
Right now it is just work and study. I am suprised I can post at all. Bear with me, it should mellow out next week. In the meantime AI, Gunner, Sk, Jn and Murf-doggy-dogg, I am immensley enjoying reading your posts and look forward to them each day like a hamster for new cedar chips. Which is a lot. Hamsters look forward to fresh, fragrant cedar chips just about as much as they look forward to anything. Dang anticipating rodents.
Oooooout,
Ramblin' Ed
That's what I'm about. Ramblin' Ed at 4:59 AM
6 comments:
Man, I thought you were gonna tell us that if you pulled the band-aid off your toe the words would just spill right out onto the carpet and then you would have to get the dustpan and clean them up and sort out the jumbled mess that was pumped out onto the floor by an overzealous word loving heart, add to that that you got lost and wandered around the kitchen for one half hour looking for the dustpan and missed having breakfast at Waffle House because you are directionally impaired and because you chose not to step over the nasty teethbaring little dragon also known as an anole but chose to sidetrack it- which reminds me of a punch line- purple cause icecream doesn't have bones- I sure do crack up sometimes.
Perhaps you shoulda gotten a scooter instead of that really fast looker you are driving. Even it doesnt look so fast a 13 mph but I am sure you are looking good in it Mr. Sharp Dressed Man!
Nothing is good when it is encrusted. You might say something like diamond encrusted earings but those are only good because they are worth money that I dont have, that doesnt mean they look good.
Sorry,
I've been away a couple weeks due to business travel. Did you say that you are no longer "Gainfully unenjoyed"? If so, thats great.
And you knew that I was gonna say it... if you bought and rode a motorcycle to work, you would be: Getting 40-55mpg and averaging 26mph on the way to work. (Other people don't bother you so much when you can leave them tumbling in your contrails...)
Pipedragger
Pipedragger. You obviously have no wife or you'd know that when buying a motorcycle comes up it is met with a resounding "NO!" And if you think you'd veto the veto, well, brother it just don't work that way. When gas hit $1.90 I brought it up.
Murf, to not know hamsters is to have not known life. They're small, furry and quiet. That, and they fit nicely into a pop tart. Mmmmmm...gooey.
Jn, I hear you, sister. Encrusted is not even a cool word. But I just wanted to make sure I was not unwittingly modifying one of your laws to live by. There are cool words to be had. I'm liking "slippery" right now, and it's trailer park cousin "slickery". I just need to find some place to use them.
RQ, have mercy. What a hoot. I should have let you do my post this morning. At least I know you've been reading closely. Except, I believe I described the gekko (remember, I suspended the laws of polite zoology) as being like a little alligator, not nasty teethbaring little dragon. I did like the "nasty teeth baring" part.
Folks, it'll all get better. I promise.
You have to add the WPa relative slippy too. It happens to be my favorite member, not that I am biased or anything-Jn
like: I was eating my hamster poptart with the slickery filling and not paying attention when I stepped on a nasty teeth baring gecko which bit my toe and when I started to bleed words I discovered how slippy there were and dropped my yummy, gooey poptart onto the slippery vinyl floor encrusted with verbage and such.
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