I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life

It is a time to be. A time to be hopeful. To be angry. To be wishful. To be beat down. A time to be angry or a time to be concillatory. Whatever. It is a time. For me, it is a time to be done with shrillness and demagogery. But, to quote Kimmy, "Babe, that ain't on the menu."

I read this yesterday - To be positive: To be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

I have worked. Hard. I am exhausted. Exhausted in the good way. In the way you pick up what you've done. Hold it in your hand and show it to the world. I am proud of what I put together for the airport in Taipei. Proud of my proposal to train screeners all across Canada. Proud that I had an impossible deadline and met it. Didn't beat it as I had hoped, but like I said, it was an impossible deadline. So meeting it provided the same professional rewards. Now I sit in my pajamas, crowing about it. Kinda crass and unhumble of me.

I was watching "I'm Not There" this morning. It was about Bob Dylan but in the movie he had a different name. And was, at a point, played by a girl. And I felt all trippy and 1960's inside. Which is not an altogether bad way to start the morning. He played with words.

I will be in Taipei for a week. I fly out on September 11th. Third time since 2001 that I have done that. Each time I do, I think about the attacks. Then I buckle in and doze off. That's how I fly. Cinched in and drooling.

Anyway, I will be there for a week. Unless I'm not. It was a certitude, with contacts forged, reservations made, schedules laid out. And then it wasn't. Some form with a government acronym for a name may monkey wrench it. Or might not. That's the way it is. You may call me Gumby.

Mowed the grass yesterday. It's the only time I get left alone. And then only because I can't hear the phone or feel it vibrate. The Snapper mower rides a little rough. I mowed for an hour yesterday and when I finished there were 4 missed calls and 2 new emails. I looked around and ascertained that the world had not ended, so I pretended I did not see them. I reholstered the offending Blackberry and reached for the string trimmer.

Tomorrow I will go fishing. At a good quiet place with a good quiet friend. Sunday and Monday I am taking wife to Jacksonville. We have a friend from Japan who has moved there and we want to see them again. Then, on the way home, will stop by St. Augustine. The wife will like that. Figure to take I-4 & I-95 up there and wander home on the backroads.

Been playing with words.

The truth? You can't hear the truth over your lawnmower, man. Out.

Ramblin' Ed

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Unfallen 4 Sept, 2009

You’ve got to leave me out of all the things we’ve done
You took me go then always leave me hanging
We slipped down any path we knew was way too long
Always stopped halfway from the beginning

We wanted once to be what I was always after
But I was never sure that’s what we needed
You were always on the side of glass half full, and laughter
But that’s alright; it stops the heart from bleeding

There’s all the seeds been sown
There lay yours. And mine.
The edges touch, but I don’t see them blending
You’ve got to live your own
You live in your own time
‘Cause we never know just how the past is ending

I got you on the phone from punching numbers random
We talked for minutes, we had much to listen
And random is as random does, and there it lays its pattern
Brushed out in tears unfallen and unglistening

If I could bring to you the things I think are fair
If I could bring you sunshine from the shadows
Then I would be the one you laid your head upon his shoulder
No different from so many other fellows

There’s all the dreams been blown
There lay yours. And mine
The edges overlap. They are unbending
You’ve got to live your own
You live in your own time
‘Cause we never know just how the past is ending

We slipped down any path we knew was way too long
Always stopped halfway from the beginning
You were always on the side of glass half full, and laughter
But that’s alright; it stops the heart from bleeding

Ed
Brandon