As if & Akin (Did you say bloated oratory?)

I have decided to speak more properly the language of my people. I don't intend to get all stiff and formal, like reading a novel in old English, but still, a more correct usage. This post will be short, free of all the bloated oratory that I normally throw in to compensate for the smallness of my ..... well, of my whatever it is that might turn out to be smallish. But not freakishly so, mind you. Lord, I'm already starting to renege.

For instance, gone from my vocabulary is the phrase "It's raining like a big dog." I shall still use the same sentiment, only it will be phrased thusly: "It is raining as if a big dog." Oh sure, I could go all overboard and foppish and say, "It is raining, falling from the sky as if and akin to a large canine", but why? That really just sounds stupid.

Thank you for your support in my ongoing attempt to better myself. Homeys.

Last thing. I watched the entire season of DEADWOOD over the weekend. Other than being insanely profane in the matter of dialog, it was engrossing and quite entertaining. Apparently the west was tamed by a bunch of cursing drunks and marginally appealing whores who run around wearing only their knickers. And, as far as I'm concerned, Calamity Jane is nothing more than one illiterate, drunken trainwreck with the foulest mouth of them all. Didn't care for her much. She was kinda the Jar Jar Binks of Deadwood for me.

Postulant, out
Travelin' Ed