Really P.O.'d

Note: The red parts are meant to denote anger. This story is all true.

Man, am I pissed off. The internet at work is shaky, but then the poor guy in charge of it is IT Administrator only because we waved a magic wand and said "POOF! You're a system administrator", not because he has any experience or even asked for the job. I pity him and cut him some slack.

My internet at home is going into it's second day down, also. Sometimes it glitches, and being a radar/computer/electronics guy myself, I realize that "sometimes it just does that" is an honest and most valid answer. So yesterday I just shrugged it off and came in to work. I figured it'd be back up when I returned so no real harm, no foul. But I figured wrong.

"No problem. Easiest thing in the world.", to quote that dude from the movie The Ladykillers. I'll just call Americable and ask them what's up. (Please note that up until this point I have been my normal, understanding, mellow yellow self. That will change.)

I'll spare you the blow by blow, but let it be known that for 6 hours yesterday and 30 minutes this morning I conversed with a machine, when I conversed at all, and got ZERO satisfaction. First you get a machine that gives you a menu of 2 options. Pressing either option hands you off to a busy signal 99 out of 100 times. This in itself is a little strange because it is true, even long after their stated working hours. Is this to give the impression that they are so dedicated that they stay at the office 24 hrs a day fielding phone calls?

On the 100th time a pleasant machine man comes on and tells you that everyone is very, very busy doing important stuff and that if you will kindly leave your name, number and a brief description of the problem, someone will get back to you soon. Now, see, this last part is a damn lie and the reason for my pissed offedness. They don't get back to you at all.

This morning, after recieving repeated busy signals on all numbers, at 3 AM, I finally got through to the manager's machine. He politely stated that he was not at work right now but rest assured that even though he may be home sleeping, he was dreaming about stellar customer service and, by the way, if the problem was internet connectivity I should address that by pressing 2.

"I will NOT press 2!!", I screamed into the phone, "I've been pressing 2 for two friggin' days now. I have had it with busy signals and answering machines. I will come by the office this morning instead, since you seem to have designed your help line to shunt us off, I'll make you tell me to go away in person. I just want to know if your whole server is down, in which case I'll be patient, or if it's my modem or cabling, in which case I want to schedule a trouble call. But quit asking for my name and number. It pisses me off to keep giving it to you when you have NO INTENTIONS OF FOLLOWING THROUGH! Change your message and stop the lies. Get on the ball over there."

I mean to tell you, I got pretty animated, but the one thing that really pushes my buttons is lip service covering up bad service. If you're busy and don't have the time or manpower to return calls, just say something like "We're unavailable at this time. Please try your call later." It's a little disappointing, but at least it doesn't give the impression that they'll be calling you back, now does it?

I will be visiting their office in an hour. It's literally right next door. I hope I can remain civil (I usually do) and avoid being escorted from the building by a couple of burly security guards. Well,....OK, there are no security guards, but there IS a receptionist. And she's kinda burly. Well, not really. Fine. I'm easily manhandled. Are you happy now?

Chiasmus, out
Travelin' Ed