The Disapperance. A Hardly Boys Mystery
Me and the wife don't agree about money. Or maybe that should be the wife and I don't agree about money. I vaguely remember my mom teaching me that the easiest way to figure out which was correct was to drop the other person from the sentence. "Me don't agree about money" somehow doesn't sound all that correct, while "I don't agree about money" sorta does.
Where was I? Oh yeah. But we don't have that many arguments about money. I have a pretty good plan that works fairly well. It's not fool proof, but what is, right? What I do is pay all the bills up front. And trust me, we don't have any bills to speak of, only phone, internet and a very small credit card balance I keep just to keep my credit rating nudging upwards. Then I peel off $100-$120 for pocket money for me. But that's for the whole 2 weeks and I don't always spend it all. Leftover pocket money of mine gets stashed, of course. All the rest I give to her. It's not real heavy on the saving aspect, but I get left alone to watch The Simpsons (the best show on TV) and Everybody loves Raymond re-runs. Everybody wins.
My hits on this site have steadily risen and that's weird. Of course, I'm not making any money at this. I don't know why I said that though, other than it's true. Oh, and I also found out I was the sole link on a new web page called "Travels of a Coal Miner's Daughter". I posted a comment on her site to tell her I was honored. sk, that oughta make you happy...she's coal people. Or Loretta Lynn people. Oh yeah, she was so funny. For her "bio" she quoted the first verse and chorus of SIXTEEN TONS, that old song Tennessee Ernie Ford made famous. Kinda the last thing you expect from a 20 year old woman.
If the article on Yahoo! news is to be believed, the Saint's owner is thinking about moving the team to LA. Hasn't decided, mind you, but is thinking. Of course, it is very, very likely to be an extortion attempt on his part to get a new stadium or something. But just in case, I'll keep it simple. Benson moves the team...Travelin' Ed hunts him down and kills him. Word.
Paul Newman said on TV yesterday that he used to drink a case of beer a day. What the heck!!?? Why didn't he get a beer belly, then? That kinda crap just ain't fair. Doggone Hollywood elite.
I didn't plan this as an experiment, but it kinda turned out that way:
I returned from the dentist yesterday with a mouth full of novacaine. It was starting to wear off but I was still pretty numb (with an n, not a d). I was hungry, but he hadn't mentioned a waiting time before I could chew. Part of me said that means I can eat anything, anytime but another part of me said just give it an hour. Yeah, I have all these inner conflicts.
Then I remembered that I had a banana, although I don't remember the brand or country of origin. But don't most of them come from Nicaragua or Honduras? So methinks to meself, surely a banana is safe enough to eat. You only eat the cob and the cob is quite soft usually. So I peeled it and took a big old huge bite of cob, safe in the belief that my teeth would come to no harm because of it.
It was the strangest thing. The combination of the novocaine in my gums and tongue and the soft sorta semi-gooey consistency of the banana made for a disapperance. Yes, you heard right. A disapperance. One chew and I couldn't find it anymore. Couldn't feel it in my mouth nor feel it with my tongue when I felt around for it. Logic says it was there, and I swallowed under the assumption that I was swallowing banana goo even though I couldn't sense it in any way. I am also pretty certian that I got full vitamin value from the unfelt banana goo I assume that I succeeded in ingesting. And potassium. I do know that bananas got potassium in them. Like I said, it wasn't an experiment so much as a discovery. Yep...I learn so you don't have to.
Well, now you know what I know. A proud feeling, isn't it?
Schwarmerei, out
Unravelin' Ed
Where was I? Oh yeah. But we don't have that many arguments about money. I have a pretty good plan that works fairly well. It's not fool proof, but what is, right? What I do is pay all the bills up front. And trust me, we don't have any bills to speak of, only phone, internet and a very small credit card balance I keep just to keep my credit rating nudging upwards. Then I peel off $100-$120 for pocket money for me. But that's for the whole 2 weeks and I don't always spend it all. Leftover pocket money of mine gets stashed, of course. All the rest I give to her. It's not real heavy on the saving aspect, but I get left alone to watch The Simpsons (the best show on TV) and Everybody loves Raymond re-runs. Everybody wins.
My hits on this site have steadily risen and that's weird. Of course, I'm not making any money at this. I don't know why I said that though, other than it's true. Oh, and I also found out I was the sole link on a new web page called "Travels of a Coal Miner's Daughter". I posted a comment on her site to tell her I was honored. sk, that oughta make you happy...she's coal people. Or Loretta Lynn people. Oh yeah, she was so funny. For her "bio" she quoted the first verse and chorus of SIXTEEN TONS, that old song Tennessee Ernie Ford made famous. Kinda the last thing you expect from a 20 year old woman.
If the article on Yahoo! news is to be believed, the Saint's owner is thinking about moving the team to LA. Hasn't decided, mind you, but is thinking. Of course, it is very, very likely to be an extortion attempt on his part to get a new stadium or something. But just in case, I'll keep it simple. Benson moves the team...Travelin' Ed hunts him down and kills him. Word.
Paul Newman said on TV yesterday that he used to drink a case of beer a day. What the heck!!?? Why didn't he get a beer belly, then? That kinda crap just ain't fair. Doggone Hollywood elite.
I didn't plan this as an experiment, but it kinda turned out that way:
I returned from the dentist yesterday with a mouth full of novacaine. It was starting to wear off but I was still pretty numb (with an n, not a d). I was hungry, but he hadn't mentioned a waiting time before I could chew. Part of me said that means I can eat anything, anytime but another part of me said just give it an hour. Yeah, I have all these inner conflicts.
Then I remembered that I had a banana, although I don't remember the brand or country of origin. But don't most of them come from Nicaragua or Honduras? So methinks to meself, surely a banana is safe enough to eat. You only eat the cob and the cob is quite soft usually. So I peeled it and took a big old huge bite of cob, safe in the belief that my teeth would come to no harm because of it.
It was the strangest thing. The combination of the novocaine in my gums and tongue and the soft sorta semi-gooey consistency of the banana made for a disapperance. Yes, you heard right. A disapperance. One chew and I couldn't find it anymore. Couldn't feel it in my mouth nor feel it with my tongue when I felt around for it. Logic says it was there, and I swallowed under the assumption that I was swallowing banana goo even though I couldn't sense it in any way. I am also pretty certian that I got full vitamin value from the unfelt banana goo I assume that I succeeded in ingesting. And potassium. I do know that bananas got potassium in them. Like I said, it wasn't an experiment so much as a discovery. Yep...I learn so you don't have to.
Well, now you know what I know. A proud feeling, isn't it?
Schwarmerei, out
Unravelin' Ed
That's what I'm about. Ramblin' Ed at 5:43 PM
4 comments:
Ah yes but I can assure you that SK is not surprised. Thats because she is SK people. And I thought you were one of those educated types too. You disapoint me my friend. But what do you get for only meeting twice. Still curious? Talk to SK. Peace -Jn
First off, you gotta admit I've got some of the coolest titles going. No, really. Admit it.
Also, just a quick point of clarification, my dear Jn. I was a'feared this might come up and it did. sk, that's small s and small k is my friend from wa-a-ay back. And her and her husband are in the coal bidness in western PA.
Who is this big S big K SK and how would I go about checking them out?
Yes, I am curious I suppose.
Ed
While sk is your friend dearest Ed, she is also SK the Mom to Jn- that would explain her disappointment in your banana goo between the ears. She turned out mighty fine huh!!! We dont just produce excellent coal around here. PS. go to Coal Miner's Daughter's first blog and reread it cause you are mentioned there in a very big way.
OH MY GOSH!!!
I am so suprised. And there I was protecting the honor and good name of my beloved sk. And it wasn't even necessary, was it?
This is probably the most thunderstruck I have been in a long, long time. Especially now, after re-reading her first post. I am humbled.
Jn, thanks for making my day! sk, ya done good.
Travelin' Ed
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