Tragically, I was born un-hip.

Words I gotta engrave on the better half's MasterCard. "If you can eat it, drink it or wear it, it's not an emergency."

I know what you're thinking, "You, Travelin' Ed, un-hip? Not possible." Well, it is possible. I'm bleeding cool points. I'm the guy I always thought it was OK to laught at. Read closely, it does not say to laugh with. You need an example? Every morning I use Williams 'Lectric Shave. How many of you even know what that is? (And if anyone, anywhere refers to you as Grandpa or Grandma you're not eligible to play. Sorry) Not so bad, you say. But wait, like an offer for ginsu knives, there's more! Vitalis. Yes, Vitalis....I don't think I really need to say anything more.

Apparently, and completely subconsciously, I look for the same thing in my female companions as I do in my computers. No, not the Toshiba nameplate, though that is a thought. Nope, it's more subtle than that. I was noticing this morning that there are buttons for TURN OFF, STANDBY, and SLEEP. They are well marked, accessible via multiple actions (but not always intentional actions), and frequently used. But there is no well marked, easily accessible button marked TURN ON. Nope, it's POWER that turns 'em on.

My dentist, Dr. Cheung, is great. He's conversational, enjoys trading jokes with me, is very thorough, gentle as all get out, and is very conscientious about his work. To this point in my life, he's the best I've ever had, dentist wise. I guess it's too bad most dentist's eventually commit suicide. But that's not why we're here. As we were bantering away yesterday, sample lines: "I didn't hurt you did I? That answer was kind of weird sounding." "Doc, you had your hand in my mouth when you asked me that." "Oh yeah." (OK, that was a lot better live, I'll give you that.) Anyhow, what I thought about this morning is this. I've been in the navy the whole time he's been alive. He's never known a world in which I wasn't a squid. Well, hold on, Doc, just hold on. 'Cuz in 99 & a WU (Whoo hooo...a two digit midget!!!) you will.

Last point. There's a Shaver song, Blood is Thicker Than Water, which I intend to transcribe into this very blog one day, perhaps today. It was one of the last things Billy Joe and Eddie Shaver did together, and it's a darn good song, to boot. It has some great raw lines in it, and is about their less than perfect family life while Eddie was growing up and Billy Joe was running wild. Fascinating stuff. So anyway, Billy Joe has a line about Eddie's girlfriend that goes something like, "I seen her coming down the road with a sack of quarters". I think that is an absoloutely awesome line, and is about as backhanded an insult as I've heard in a long time. Very slick. If I interpret it correctly, that is. See, there's an old, old joke, which I won't retell here, but the punchline is: (Bank teller) "How long you been hoarding these quarters?" (Girl) "Oh, about 3 weeks. But my sister whored half of 'em." And I suppose I should leave you with that.

Buteo, out
Travelin' Ed