First they call you stupid, then they take your money
Yesterday I traded in my Active Duty ID card for a pretty blue US NAVY RETIRED one. Kinda sad because there goes my $2 per ticket discount at the movies and free admission to the USS Alabama memorial. Signed up for retiree health care and picked up the forms for dental. Yep, I have officially retired and moved to Florida. So when do they issue me my RV?
When I was stationed in Yokosuka, Americablejapan tried to tell me that the internet was cheaper if I got cable. I asked how much was internet? $55 per month. How much is cable and internet together? $100. OK, I asked, how is $100 cheaper than $55?
Americable: But you'll get cable too
Ramblin' Ed: But I get cable free.
A: But you'll save $10 on internet
RE: No, actually it'll be $45 MORE for cable, since I am unlikely to be watching the Catholic Channel, The Filipino Channel or HSN, which is what I get added to the cable I already get free.
When I was stationed in Pascagoula, when it was still there, along the beach in the extrme south eastern corner of Jackson County, Mississippi, right there straddling the Alabama State Line, I called up Bell South to get me a phone. We made some small talk then got around to brass tacks.
Bell South: We'll be out today. It'll be a $40 connection fee, we're waiving the deposit, and it will be $29.35 per month for unlimited local calls.
Ramblin' Ed: Or......?
BS: Or what?
RE: What if I don't want the unlimited local calls? Then what?
BS: You'd be charged per call.
RE: OK. Let's do that.
BS: You'll be charged for every call.
RE: OK
BS: EVERY SINGLE call
RE: OK. My family is all long distance and I'm not going to be calling to work to see if they miss me. So I'll pay per call.
BS: OK sir, whatever.
As it turns out, I made 1 local call per month, or 2 if the Division Officer came over to watch NFL with me because he always ordered a pizza. TWO CALLS. They were going to cost me $15 each, if you think about it. And, by the way, taxes on a phone bill are in no way a percentage of your usage. My calls would be 28 cents and the taxes would be around $7. You paid for 911 and TDD and all kinds of other little rider taxes that you don't notice normally.
I am now professional grade, just like GMC trucks. My wife worked at a brand new Sbarro's where she learned a few recipies. I am an outstanding pizza builder, able to do everything except that spinning toss up into the air. I've only tried that once, and it was definately not pretty. Oh, and I can't seem to really pull off wearing one of them white chef's hats. I think it's because my neck is too skinny. But other than those things, I'm a real decent pizza guy. And now... I have my very own pizza oven. If you're gonna do the project then you gotta have the tools, as I have always said ever since yesterday. It's an Oster, and it's my friend.
Work today and I am running behind, so will close. But let me tell you this first. I am about a 7.5 on the Stoked-O-Meter as things seem to be falling into place rather nicely. Last piece of the puzzle for now is completing my licensing, and that is in it's final stage, too. So, all in all: Life is good. Life is fair. I'm wearing Simpson's underwear.
Fortified with 8 essential vitamins, out
Ramblin' Ed
That's what I'm about. Ramblin' Ed at 3:45 AM
6 comments:
What is Simpson wearing? I do hope you warshed them first-yucky. The question is do you Pizza King of the Oster World deliver???
What vitamins are you fortified with? Are you all natural organic? Wheat free? Dairy free? -Jn
Wendy's in the Metro Manila delivers, yes. You see the number.
I have 2 Simpson's drawers. This particular scene they are just kinda looking at you and smiling. I know. Exciting, huh. And they are washed every single time I get around to it, without fail.
I have like 8 essential vitamins, or something like that. What would that be then? Riboflavin, I think that's one. And iron for sure. Calcium deposits and a couple of others. I think no is the answer to the organic question. Not dairy free because of my abby-normal love affair with ice cream. And lastly, what is this "wheat" that you speak of, child?
I too enjoy making my own pizza. I sometimes do the flour/yeast/water/let-r-rise and beatt her down thing. But lately, I've been doing the lazy, lazy pizza way. Buy frozen loaves of bread, thaw one loaf, roll it flat (rectangular shaped), pierce it with a fork, some cornmeal/olive oil on you stone and then toppings to suit and as Jackie Gleason used to say, "And awaaaaay we go!" Sorta like one of those deep-dish style ones.
Does your Oster pizza oven have a stone cooking surface? That stone sure makes a crispy-critter type pizza bottom, if that be your style.
No, Gunner, it has a wire rack. But it is only about 3 or 4 inches high inside and cooks the pizza up right.
As for dough, I usually use the Pillsbury mix which is as easy as mix in 1/2 cup water, mix, let sit 5 min., knead and roll out. When I cheat I'll use pre-packaged Mama Mia's or Bobolis.
What I like best about my own is that I make 'em wit double cheese, triple pepperoni and then an extra helping of double cheese. Mmmm! Mighty tasty.
I had one (West Bend, maybe?) some years back. I recall it was a "countertop" model, but actually it was too big to be hanging around the average countertop all the time. But anyway, it had a 3/8" stone that came with it that slipped over the grill and that little rascal made a pretty darn good pizza for such a small appliance. I thought maybe you had one with a stone, also. I'm not even sure they still make 'em that way.
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