Believe it, Bub

I was, once upon a long time ago, one of those, "Believe it, Bub. Because I said so. My way or the everloving highway." kind of guys. I was a type A+ personality and it helped me in the navy go from E1 to E7 in 9 years, which included a PASSED-NOT ADVANCED on my first try at E5. For you civilians, that's a pretty big deal in the grand scale of promotion related things.

So what I'm thinking is that one day, while packing my ditty bag for another move to another place to be with the same idiots with different names, I forgot to pack it. I'm not sure what happened, but over 10 to 15 years I went from type A to B to C to where I am now, which in my estimation would be D. Type D personality, as in laiD back. Laid back like the Aussies would have you believe they are but they really aren't. That's me. Arguing with me is like punching a marshmallow. Trust me folks, I'm Gumby. Don't believe me? Check out my pet cat, Pokey II:

Now, what does that mean to you? I'd say same as always. A big bag o' nuthin'. But at least now you know.

I think I came by my honesty, well, honestly. No, no.. I am not freakishly honest as in, "Hi Linda. Good to see you. Hey, wow, did you know your left butt cheek is rather larger than the right one? I just noticed it and it really is." See, that degree of honesty is not, at least to my way of thinking, necessary or desired. It only serves to make a lopsided girl feel bad. Or a lopsided guy, but then you'd have to explain exactly how it was that you came to notice it. And most guys have an aversion to that particular conversation.

I am also not so freakishly honest, if there even is such a degree of honesty, that I wouldn't steal a cookie off your plate and then deny doing it. That is known as The Cookie Conundrum, which in layman's term, means that I wanted a cookie, you were not going to give it to me, so I stole it. And it is a valid defense in the whole country except for a small cluster of 3 counties in Eastern Connecticut. But in their defense, they thought Lieberman would be a good president and should probably not be held to the same high standards as the rest of the country.

No, I got this honest streak from my folks. Mom in particular. Couldn't get her off the straight line of truth if your butt depended on it, which in my case, it often did. In fact the closest I ever got her to lying for me (and besides being very pleased at the miniscule little victory made me briefly consider some sort of celebratory shindig to mark the occasion) was when she told me, in regards to my request concerning an impending call from the school principal who was going to talk about several things, including a home made incendary device gone a little wrong and a midmorning evacuation of the high school, this: "I'll answer the question truthfully. But... If he doesn't ask, I won't bring it up." Now in my world that was a victory. Of course, at the time she knew nothing about the stink bomb gone flame thrower on me or the large scale evacuation. I didn't really want her to be concerned with events that we could no longer influence.

So anyway, live and let live. Don't throw stones if you live in glass houses. Give as good as you get. Live free or die. Semper fi. Read directions carefully. Shake well before using and, my personal favorite, this bag is not a toy.*

The following is the only thing I ever wrote that wound up being a bluegrass song.

Pale Blue Sky

If you ain't got lovin' and you ain't got time
You ain't got nothin' to ease your mind
If you ain't got nothin' to ease your mind
Then there ain't no reason to be denied

I went to the mountian and I climbed so high
I was knockin' my head 'gainst the pale blue sky
Laid out cold I awoke to find
I was wrapped in the arms of a strange desire

Suddenly I'm thinking what a subtle innuendo
Angel got the smile but she hasn't got the halo
Hasn't got a halo and I'm wonderin' why
Wonder why she ain't got no wings to fly

Wasn't for the pain, it wasn't for the glory
Wasn't for the pleasure, it wasn't for the stories
Wasn't but a minute by the way she smiled
Wasn't no explainin' this strange desire

I've fallen in love and I've wandered astray
Been a simple mind from the very first day
From the very first day been a smouldering fire
In the hidden places a touch inspired

Angel and me spin our own little twirl
Halo high water, she's a hell of a girl
Been from the dark to the sun to the sky
To the scene of the crime to a strange desire

Tried to lock her up in a silver cage
Smile come to fade in a terrible rage
Terrible rage rode the wind like fire
The wind was whippin' the flames up higher

If you ain't got lovin' and you ain't got time
You ain't got nothin' to ease your mind
If you ain't got nothin' to ease your mind
Then you might best leave this world behind

Ed
Portsmouth, VA

That's the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it, out
Ramblin' Ed

* How poor do you have to be if you get a plastic bag for a toy?