"You're a what?"
My Leiutenant friend, the one still active, has temporarily moved into my house. It's the Air Force's fault. In just 4 little words, they pretty much threw a monkey wrench into things. The words? "We don't do that."He reported for duty in Tampa, leaving his wife behind in their big, expensive home in Jacksonville. He should have bought a nice RV, then his family could travel to see him, since the navy has made it purt near impossible for him to ever see them. But he didn't. Once he bought his house and moved back from Japan they immediately stationed him for 2 years on a ship that was always gone. He talked his way off of sea duty and they sent his ass to Qatar for a year. Unaccompanied. They gave him leave twice during the year, once for morale reasons and once for his mom's funeral, and he saw his family then.
Well, he did his time in Qatar and came home to shore duty. At least that's what it was, as far as the navy is concerned. Tampa is not, however, home and it is not just a couple of miles away. It is 4 hours away at 70 mph. But hey, it's MacDill AFB . . .FL, and FL means Florida and you live in Florida, so close enough. As far as we're concerned, we stationed you at home. (These are the same yahoos that made me fly into and out of Ft. Lauderdale on my morale leave from overseas because, and I quote, "I wasn't sure if Tampa had an airport." Huh!? That didn't help my morale.)
So anyway, The Ottoball comes down, sets up in my guest bedroom for a week (his wife made the trip down with him) and on Monday, goes to work and reports in. Part of the check-in process takes him through the housing office where they offer to help him find a rental property. "No need", he tells them, "I'm a goegraphical bachelor." "A what?" "A geo bachelor. I'll just get a barracks room." "Why?" "Because I'm a geo bachelor. All I get is a barracks room." "Oh, no sir. You'll get extra money on your check to pay for a rental. It's an allowance." "Yes, I know what that is. I get it already, so you can't give it to me again, no matter how sincere you are about it. I use it to pay for my house in Jax. But I am stationed here now, making me a geo bachelor, and making me deserving of nothing more than a room in the barracks." "But you have to get a rental, we can't give you a barracks room." "Why not?" "Well sir, this whole geographical bachelor thing.... umm, we don't do that. I've never even heard of it before." So there you go - (1) We (2) don't (3) do (4) that.
I have desert cammies and boots hanging in my guest room, and will for the forseeable future. I told him to live here for free until he can figger out the cheapest way to do things. At least I can offer the room, which keeps him from having to decide "right now" between the lesser of two evils. I at least afford him the breathing room to learn the area, and learn the new base, and especially to learn the AF way of doing things. Then he can decide what to do. Until then, I explained that same rules apply here as apply on the ship, and we all know there is really only the one rule.... the one UNBREAKABLE rule: If you drink the last of the coffee, make some more.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. The moral of this story is: Ask me if I miss that crap!
One last thing. I found, and downloaded 2 TV show first episodes yesterday. If you want to see just how much TV comedy, and what constitutes acceptable broadcast standards, has changed, you couldn't find a better side by side comparison than these two. The first show was ALF first episode and the second show was Family Guy first episode. Show of hands, who remembers ALF?
Hanging around like a bad chest cold, out
Ramblin' Ed
That's what I'm about. Ramblin' Ed at 6:56 AM
8 comments:
Well, I'm not one to defend bureaucrats, but in 20 yrs, 7 mos, & 19 days of AF service I never heard of a geographical bachelor either. Is that some sort of Naval category?
BTW - Happy Veteran's Day to you!
John Prine has a strange point of view, don't he? Or would that be outlook? Of course, that could probably be said about us all at one time or 'nother.
John Prine has always been one of my favorites. I will probably post some more of his stuff. Most of it very light hearted. Viewed from askew, but light hearted.
The navy moves people a lot more than the other services. 3 years is about the longest you stay anywhere. Sometimes you can go from sea to shore to sea in the same location, but only in "fleet concentration areas" like San Diego and Norfolk. While Jax is a navy town, it is a much smaller amount of ships and support facilities than the two above.
Because the navy moves you so often, it is unreasonable to expect people to buy and sell homes every couple of years. So families can normally stay in the home of record and the sailor will get a barracks room at the place where they are stationed (or a rack, if they go to a ship). They are allowed to get housing allowance at whichever rate is higher, but thats about it.
It is very common in the navy to have geographical bachelors. It happens a lot. I can understand why the Air Force doesn't. What I can't understand is why a navy detailer would send someone off to be a geo bachelor to a place that does not recognize the situation, and why there isn't some kind of liason at these joint commands to smooth over the cultural differences that we all know exist between the services.
This guy was just kinda left hanging with no recourse. Kind of like when I came back to the states and was told that the base would no longer provide me with dental services. I was told I had to take Delta Dental. Except I did not have the requisite year left on active duty, so I was not allowed to join. I went back to MacDill and told them that I could not join, so I assumed that they would care for me until I retired. I was promptly assured that I had assumed wrong. I paid for all my dental work out of pocket for my last 4 months active.
I've heard of Geo Bachelors in the Army. Someone I knew in Iraq was a full time Reservist, living in Nasheville, his wife was in the Navy in Norfolk with the kids. He was a geo Bachelor.
I've heard Marines use the term. While on Active Duty, I knew several guys that were married and living in barracks with teir wife back home somewheres.
Interesting thing Ilearned about the Navy in Iraq, when they send someone, it is on orders shy of a year, so that they can't take leave during that time. Raw deal.
That's like that 179 day TDY thing. You go for 180 days you got some real jingle in your pocket... 179 days? Chump change.
I'll tell you another thing. I did TDYs as an E-(pick a number between 1 & 9) and later as a GS-12 and I can tell you that there is a WORLD of difference in how you're treated and a WORLD of difference in the per diem rate.
I thought the disparity appalling and registered my outrage by insisting on buying the 1st round for the E-8 and E-5 who were part of our software testing team when we went TDY.
Incidentally, I lost track of Walt (the E-5), but Terry's (the E-8) wife died soon after he retired (Weaverville, NC boy, BTW). A mutual friend told me that he mourned for about a month or two and then married his orthopedic surgeon and was running the office for her practice in Columbus, OH.
erratum: Change the 9 to an 8 in (pick a number between 1 & 9)
I remember Alf
Loved the Prine clips. He's my favorite after all these years and I stop by and see him whenever he is in the area. I have all his CD's but still my favorite is his first record which I like to play on Sunday afternoons. It just feels right then.
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