A wanted man in Bowling Green, VA

First off, here's a video from some Air Force pukes in UAE to get us started. It is a music video, so there is no carnage. Sorry. I'm anti-carnage. I'M HOT CUZ I'M DEPLOYED

So there I am, tooling up US 301 North from Richmond to see some friends in King George and Fredricksburg. I have my chick magnet of a rented Toyota Corolla cruising easy, have WFLS cranked up loud, and I have a big, fat, surprisingly mild stogie for the ride. Life is good. Or so I thought.

I pass a Bowling Green policeman on the outskirts of town who is sitting on the side of the road, but since I am not speeding, I keep going. Brrrrrp Brrrrp I hear the siren chirp and see the lights, so I move over to let him get where he is going, which turns out to be a spot directly behind my now stopped chick magnetmobile. John R. Law then proceeds to disembark his vehicle. Now, I ain't the sharpest crayon in the box, but I know this is going downhill fast.

"Sir, I clocked you doing 39 mph." (THIRTY-NINE..... I am on a major highway doing less than 40 mph and have just gotten stopped.Oh! The humanity!) "Um, yessir. Is that why you stopped me?" "Sir, the speed limit is 25. This is a school zone." "Oh, then yeah. Sir, the last sign I saw said 35." "Correct. But from 1500-1545 this is a school zone. It was 1535 when I clocked you."

Apparently, Caroline County did not have the financial resounces to put up school zone signs. Or paint the road. Or, if there even was a school, to cut down the trees that were hiding it from view. So they did the next best thing, which was to post a cop there with a ticket book.

"Sir, can I see your license and registration?" "Sure, here's the license and... and... sir, this is gonna sound awfully stupid. My registration is sitting in my hotel room in Richmond. I went out to get some snacks for the room from the 7-11 and decided since it was only an hour away, I'd just keep going and see friends in King George." "Uh-huh. Please sit there in your car, sir."

OK, at this point I'm thinking how this pretty much sucks, but I am not real nervous. Only thing I am really worried about is a second ticket now.

"Sir, please put both hands on your steering wheel for me." WHAAAAT?? OMG, I'm getting arrested. In rural Virginia. You know what they do to boys like me in jail? They fine them, that's what.

He continues, "I ran your tags and they come back with nothing." "Officer, I have internet on my Blackberry. Want me to look up Hertz and we can call them?" "No sir, just keep your hands where I can see them and I will go to the front of your car and get the VIN. I can run that."

OK, he did. The car came back cool. I got a ticket for speeding and a lecture about having the registration in the car. I went on my way and visited my friends, one of whom was home and one was in NJ on business.

So there you have it. Ramblin' Ed, scofflaw. But seriously, who really gets a ticket doing 39 mph? Besides me, that is.

I fought the law and the law won, out,

Ramblin' Ed