Captain's Log. Stardate: Fourteen dot seven two dot loser
OK, Kirk, here's what I've found so far today. Humans are indeed illogical. And tasty. -- Count Spockula, SD 14.72.10537
Dental procedures and utensils are, I'm sure, designed to help you. No doubt todays tools are a lot better than the "Here, bite this stick" days of the past. I still find them predominately undignified. The rubber dam tops my list. Makes your lips and chin all slimey and keeps you from swallowing properly, so there's always a tiny pool of spit trying to roll down your throat, keeping you constantly sort of half gasping and gurgling like fish on a river bank. Uggh...that's the worst. Then you kinda try to swallow it but your mouth is forced wide open and all you do is send another little geyser of spit onto the dam, which allows it to seep back into your mouth and form an even larger tiny pool of spit that you can't swallow. Time all but stands still with a rubber dam on.
September 2004 National Geographic, pg.96. An interesting article on the honey badger called BADGERS WITH ATTITUDE. Entertaining. Read it. Go on, read it. I command you! Read the darn thing. (I'm badgering you.)
I am really not sure if it is the curry rice or the baked ziti. I have eaten quite a bit of both over the long weekend, so it could be either. Or possibly it could be the ginger ale, since I also consumed a lot of that this weekend, and it is not a normal item in my diet. All I know is that the flatuance is real.
I have one of the quickest wits I know. Not Robin Williams quick, but still pretty quick. I don't know, things to say just pop into my head with lightning speed. Also, I have been to the dentist a LOT in the last two weeks. So much that I have been joking about putting it down as a skill on my resume. Here is a true verbal exchange from an hour ago:
An average used car here costs between $500-$2,500. Heck, there's a '96 Cadillac STS that looks showroom new for $7,900. A Nissan March is like a VW Beetle (the old ones) except only half as large and not as well built. You buy a used one of them for between $200-$500 easily. So I was kinda put out over the cheapness I saw on the main road through the base today. A beat to death Nissan March with the front end duct taped back on. I mean, fool PLEASE! A whole new (used) car costs less than taking the wife and kid to a B-list concert in Tokyo. We're all little ambassadors fer crying out loud. Your ambassadorship seems to be saying, "I can't stop to fix the car. I gotta get home, the wife's got a possum treed and them are some go-o-o-od eatin'." (Reminds me of the joke: He said to me "I'd like you to meet my wife and sister.", but there was only one girl standing there.)
All above newswire reports are true. Except the Spockula quote. I made that up.
Farceur, out
Travelin' Ed
Dental procedures and utensils are, I'm sure, designed to help you. No doubt todays tools are a lot better than the "Here, bite this stick" days of the past. I still find them predominately undignified. The rubber dam tops my list. Makes your lips and chin all slimey and keeps you from swallowing properly, so there's always a tiny pool of spit trying to roll down your throat, keeping you constantly sort of half gasping and gurgling like fish on a river bank. Uggh...that's the worst. Then you kinda try to swallow it but your mouth is forced wide open and all you do is send another little geyser of spit onto the dam, which allows it to seep back into your mouth and form an even larger tiny pool of spit that you can't swallow. Time all but stands still with a rubber dam on.
September 2004 National Geographic, pg.96. An interesting article on the honey badger called BADGERS WITH ATTITUDE. Entertaining. Read it. Go on, read it. I command you! Read the darn thing. (I'm badgering you.)
I am really not sure if it is the curry rice or the baked ziti. I have eaten quite a bit of both over the long weekend, so it could be either. Or possibly it could be the ginger ale, since I also consumed a lot of that this weekend, and it is not a normal item in my diet. All I know is that the flatuance is real.
I have one of the quickest wits I know. Not Robin Williams quick, but still pretty quick. I don't know, things to say just pop into my head with lightning speed. Also, I have been to the dentist a LOT in the last two weeks. So much that I have been joking about putting it down as a skill on my resume. Here is a true verbal exchange from an hour ago:
T'E: Well, I'm off to my second job. I'm a professional dental patient. HaHa.
DA: HaHaHa. So, is the job hard? HaHa
T'E: No, it's like your mom's job. You just kinda lay there. (Zing....sssttttt. Burn.)
An average used car here costs between $500-$2,500. Heck, there's a '96 Cadillac STS that looks showroom new for $7,900. A Nissan March is like a VW Beetle (the old ones) except only half as large and not as well built. You buy a used one of them for between $200-$500 easily. So I was kinda put out over the cheapness I saw on the main road through the base today. A beat to death Nissan March with the front end duct taped back on. I mean, fool PLEASE! A whole new (used) car costs less than taking the wife and kid to a B-list concert in Tokyo. We're all little ambassadors fer crying out loud. Your ambassadorship seems to be saying, "I can't stop to fix the car. I gotta get home, the wife's got a possum treed and them are some go-o-o-od eatin'." (Reminds me of the joke: He said to me "I'd like you to meet my wife and sister.", but there was only one girl standing there.)
All above newswire reports are true. Except the Spockula quote. I made that up.
Farceur, out
Travelin' Ed
That's what I'm about. Ramblin' Ed at 6:07 PM
2 comments:
My dental story and a true one.
Dental appointment 1430L at the dental clinic.
Dentist just starting to work on my teeth, "Oh, I see you had popcorn for lunch. Ha, ha, ha!"
Me, "Yeah, forgot to floss afterwards. Ha, ha, ha!"
Actually, didn't have the heart to tell him that the last time I had popcorn was 2 days prior, guess I must have missed a spot when brushing. :-(
Gunner,
Yeah, that story sounds about right. Teeth, can't live with them, can't get chicks without them.
I've been meaning to tell you, I enjoy the thought you put into your posts' titles. I'm a firm believer in good titles.
Ed
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