OK, fine. I'll do it.
I was minding my own business yesterday, driving the Pontiac to Blinds to Go to get some blinds. When it comes to blinds that I need to get and then go with, or even blinds I gotta come and get, well, I head to Blinds to Go. One fairly convienent location to serve me. When it's my turn.
So the telephone, celluar phone of course, rings and it's mmmmmpphhm on the line. I think he was pronouncing it different on his end, but that the name I got anyway. I committed it to memory because it was so unique, even before he told me why he was calling.
Well it seems his sister, a hottie in white go-go boots and bright red lipstick had picked my name in a get-away weekend with a wanton woman sweepstakes and he was calling to tell me.... whoa doggie! Seems I'm rambling on about the wrong fantasy. So where was I? Oh, jess....
He had been looking at an application I had put in to Lowe's Home Center at their website and could I drive down to Riverview for an interview? Well, Riverview is just south of here. It's beautiful. It has a highway (US 301), a river (the Alafia, same one as we swam in but bigger and wider down there), and a nice view. Has it all. So I said, sure, why not?
First I went home and put on slacks, a shirt and a tie. As you may know, I have many, many ties. So finding just the right one, while it could have been difficult given the plethora of choice, was easy for an old hand like me. Not that my hand has aged more quickly than the rest of me. Just that more of it has been up my nose than the rest of me. But I'm tracking off course. Made sure my hair looked nice and shaved again just for effect.
Then I looked the store address up in the goog, popped that address into Maps and Streets and spit myself out a set of directions. I collected up the wife, who had also dressed up a notch, and we headed off to apply for a job for her also. I followed the directions, which were easy, for the about 6 miles or so it took to get to the store and drove up on a nice, large, modern Lowe's Home Center. So new, in fact, that it was still being built. Hmmmm, I thought to myself in that analytical way in which I do. This monkey wrenches things up quite nicely, don't it?
Luckily, I spied the smallish sign that said Lowe's Hiring Center was at an address just back across the river, so I drove there. Found it easy enough and we went in.
Wife did not get a job because she was not going to be allowed to work at the same store as me, even though I did not work there. They had an application for me as a stocker, something I had figured I could do in addition to Insurance, for the cash, until I got beyond the looking good and getting into nice homes, and into the actually banking some cash from it.
Instead, he said, "Are you looking for this? Or did you want management?" I am nothing if not opportunistic, so I said, "Well, I'd really rather go in to management if you guys can do that here." I said it like it looked like all they were interviewing was cashiers and stuff, which it did since I was by far the only one they had seen today in hard soled shoes, much less slacks and a tie.
Three interviews, an apptitude test, a drug test and a consent to a background investigation later, you are looking at... or at least reading from... the new Customer Service Manager for Lowe's in Riverview. I have working for me 3 area supervisors (areas of the store, not the state, of course) and it looks like about 25 people or so total.
When I was looking at the org chart in the last interview and pointed out that the pyramid narrowed considerably at the next level up, my interviewer pointed out that where I was starting out was where they promoted people to in order to groom them for zone and regional management positions, where the big bonus money started kicking in. He said, "What do you think?" and I said, "I think I'd feel better if you'd get up and write my name on that empty line." He smiled and said, "I can do that. Welcome aboard, Ed." Not too shabby.
Not quite retire in the Bahamas kind of money, but when coupled with my retirement it is nice money. Real nice money. Medical, dental, eyes, stock purchase, long term care and 401(k), and performance based bonuses are included. Plus, I'll get 10% off when I buy hardware now. Cool. Or, as they say in Australia for no reason that I can think of, Cool Beans.
I love talking to people and dealing with them, but I think my heart will be a little better off doing it on salary rather than on commission.
Not much of a story, but it's what I done yesterday.
Product of USA, out
Ed
So the telephone, celluar phone of course, rings and it's mmmmmpphhm on the line. I think he was pronouncing it different on his end, but that the name I got anyway. I committed it to memory because it was so unique, even before he told me why he was calling.
Well it seems his sister, a hottie in white go-go boots and bright red lipstick had picked my name in a get-away weekend with a wanton woman sweepstakes and he was calling to tell me.... whoa doggie! Seems I'm rambling on about the wrong fantasy. So where was I? Oh, jess....
He had been looking at an application I had put in to Lowe's Home Center at their website and could I drive down to Riverview for an interview? Well, Riverview is just south of here. It's beautiful. It has a highway (US 301), a river (the Alafia, same one as we swam in but bigger and wider down there), and a nice view. Has it all. So I said, sure, why not?
First I went home and put on slacks, a shirt and a tie. As you may know, I have many, many ties. So finding just the right one, while it could have been difficult given the plethora of choice, was easy for an old hand like me. Not that my hand has aged more quickly than the rest of me. Just that more of it has been up my nose than the rest of me. But I'm tracking off course. Made sure my hair looked nice and shaved again just for effect.
Then I looked the store address up in the goog, popped that address into Maps and Streets and spit myself out a set of directions. I collected up the wife, who had also dressed up a notch, and we headed off to apply for a job for her also. I followed the directions, which were easy, for the about 6 miles or so it took to get to the store and drove up on a nice, large, modern Lowe's Home Center. So new, in fact, that it was still being built. Hmmmm, I thought to myself in that analytical way in which I do. This monkey wrenches things up quite nicely, don't it?
Luckily, I spied the smallish sign that said Lowe's Hiring Center was at an address just back across the river, so I drove there. Found it easy enough and we went in.
Wife did not get a job because she was not going to be allowed to work at the same store as me, even though I did not work there. They had an application for me as a stocker, something I had figured I could do in addition to Insurance, for the cash, until I got beyond the looking good and getting into nice homes, and into the actually banking some cash from it.
Instead, he said, "Are you looking for this? Or did you want management?" I am nothing if not opportunistic, so I said, "Well, I'd really rather go in to management if you guys can do that here." I said it like it looked like all they were interviewing was cashiers and stuff, which it did since I was by far the only one they had seen today in hard soled shoes, much less slacks and a tie.
Three interviews, an apptitude test, a drug test and a consent to a background investigation later, you are looking at... or at least reading from... the new Customer Service Manager for Lowe's in Riverview. I have working for me 3 area supervisors (areas of the store, not the state, of course) and it looks like about 25 people or so total.
When I was looking at the org chart in the last interview and pointed out that the pyramid narrowed considerably at the next level up, my interviewer pointed out that where I was starting out was where they promoted people to in order to groom them for zone and regional management positions, where the big bonus money started kicking in. He said, "What do you think?" and I said, "I think I'd feel better if you'd get up and write my name on that empty line." He smiled and said, "I can do that. Welcome aboard, Ed." Not too shabby.
Not quite retire in the Bahamas kind of money, but when coupled with my retirement it is nice money. Real nice money. Medical, dental, eyes, stock purchase, long term care and 401(k), and performance based bonuses are included. Plus, I'll get 10% off when I buy hardware now. Cool. Or, as they say in Australia for no reason that I can think of, Cool Beans.
I love talking to people and dealing with them, but I think my heart will be a little better off doing it on salary rather than on commission.
Not much of a story, but it's what I done yesterday.
Product of USA, out
Ed
That's what I'm about. Ramblin' Ed at 7:23 AM
6 comments:
Good for you, Ed!
former FC2 Wilson
Glad you finally wised up. Congratulations!
Wow, that pep talk you gave yourself last week was a winner for sure- talked your way right into management. I love it fur sure- now Ramblin Ed is a Low Boy!!!I Knew that one was coming! Congrats!!!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Posted a congratulations, R.....n' Ed and somehow a link I had copied earlier got posted instead. I wasn't flaming ya' or nuttin like that.
Congratulations again, Ramblin' Ed!
Yeah, I read it then later I saw it was gone. I figured I just didn't get the joke, which is not particularly uncommon.
Anyway, I got thin skinned with AI once, and it turned out he was just quoting the lyrics to a song.
I don't offend easily, and you'll likely never accidentally offend me. Nope. You wanna piss me off you'll have to put the due effort into it.
But still, thanks for the display of proper social graces. Darn good of you, Gunner.
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