You can't blame everything on bums and squirrels

Well, well, well. We survived the holiday. It was a lot like any other day except without mail service. So Kim, I take back everything I said as I repeatedly checked the mail box before realizing that. It's not your fault. I blame the government.

I got invited to test for the post office. I even got a sample exam to help me prepare. I'll go test and all that. But I'm still applying to the sheriff, too. And if GE calls, well, I'll interview with them also. I'm going to continue to put irons in the fire until somebody puts me to work.

I have a 1997 GMC pickup. Started putting my first aftermarket accessory on it yesterday. A step for the passenger side. Never needed it before as I wasn't toting around too many four foot tall women. But now I am. And as fun as it is to watch her trying to get up into the passenger seat, I'm gonna put her in a step.

Of course, the term "universal" means it will fit everybody and everything except the particular model that YOU have, Ed. Broken drill bits. Skinned knuckles. Harsh words for the instruction writer's mother (and, on the reverse side, the instruction writer's madre). Good grief, it's two metal screws at the top and two bolts at the bottom. Finally got the screws in, but the bolts are another story. Mostly because at eight inches between chassis frame and sheet metal, I can't manuver a drill in to make the holes. I am NOT one to work with his hands and I have never lied about that.

I just learned that a cat will sit there through a pretty nasty fart. Never knew that before. Seems he blinked a few extra times, but that might just be because I was looking at him and laughing. Like the t-shirt in the mall said, LOVE STINKS.

I don't know if you could tell, but every one of the pictures yesterday was taken either in my garage or within about 10 feet of it. I know, because the grass was wet and cold and I only stepped off of the driveway once, to get the closeups of the cigar tree fauna. Ooooh, I lie again. The dark man photo was farther than 10 feet.

Yesterday was one of my less exciting days. This is what happens when you hang up your Travelin' Ed hat. I returned a mower to my brother, came and got the wife and we went to Wal-Mart for pillows, a plastic container for cat food, and another cupcake pan. But wait, there's more.

From Wal-Mart to Sally's Beauty supply where we bought a case for our barber shears and a plastic neck apron for when you're getting a haircut. I know... thrilling stuff. But we were just getting started, believe you me. Next we zipped back down the road to the laundry mat and washed all of our comforters. And dried 'em, too! Bet you wish you'd tagged along, especially when you find out we window shopped an Army-Navy surplus store while the blankets washed.

No, no, no. The excitement does not end there. We came home and filled space bags with clean comforters, towels, pillows and even socks. Then we sucked them airless with the vaccuum cleaner and I lovingly placed them in rows beneath the guest room bed.

And to think I used to spend my days in warm, tropical locales, eating fine food and sipping cold drinks. I used to wake up in the Caribbean, in Central America, or in Asia, in a one to five star hotel (sometimes less, never more) with a pounding in my head, a new friend in my bed, and just enough of last nights dinner on the dresser top that I didn't need to go out for breakfast. I have the t-shirts to prove it. Unfortunately, though I held out for a while, the pictures had to be destroyed. I knew Travelin' Ed, and you, sir, are no Travelin' Ed.

Oh well. We must move on.

Heard Christmas music most of the day yesterday. The laundry mat had Montel on. At least he is easier to ignore. Could have gone for more of that show Divorce Court, but one doen't fool with the television in a place full of trailer park people.

Armadillos should probably avoid roadways. Just a thought.

Paper or plastic?, out
Ramblin' Ed