Two conversations from the USS Lynde McCormick DDG-8

I will always remember these two conversations. They are from the early 1980's. I was on my first ship. They were short, but are burned into my gray matter.

Shipmate #1: Do you have a home?
Shipmate #2: Yes.
Shipmate #1: Ya ever see me in it?
Shipmate #2: No.
Shipmate #: Then STOP CALLING ME HOME BOY!

Mess crank: What kind of eggs you want?
Me: I don't eat eggs. May I just have a slice of cheese?
Mess crank: No.
Me: What do you mean no?
Mess crank: I mean you can't have a piece of cheese. No means no cheese.
Me: Dude, I just want a slice of cheese. Please give me one.
Mess crank: No. You can't have it.
Me: Can I have an omlette?
Mess crank: Yes. What kind?
Me: Can I have a cheese omlette?
Mess crank: Yes.
Me: OK, then. I'd like a cheese omlette without the egg.

Ed note: I eventually got the slice of cheese. But it took perseverence.

Swab this!, out
Ramblin' Ed