A man walks in to......

A man walks in to his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: " Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."

His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."

The man says: "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."

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I heard someone on TV yesterday say something to the effect of, "Good news, Mrs Smith. We've caught the person who killed your daughter." I don't believe that any sentence that includes the phrase "killed your daughter" is good news.

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No matter how you try to phrase it, there is no delicate way to ask your wife to get in the truck bed and put a little weight over the wheels so you can pull out a stump.

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I liked it today when Deacon Jones said, "I'm done teasing now. Just watch the game."

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When I was in high school there was a small pizza joint called Babe's Pizza. It was about a block off campus. I haven't eaten there in nearly 30 years. In fact, given this town's propensity to pave over everything from the past, I was quite surprised to move back here and see it was still there, same building on the same location. Yesterday, on the way back from the flea market, we stopped in for supper. We drove up at ten minutes to five and learned that the place opened up at five. So we waited. By the time the doors opened ten minutes later, the parking lot was full. There was a rush through the doors when they opened. By ten minutes after five, all the booths, tables and counter seats were full and the waiting area was full too. Who knew?

Babe's sells a double decker pizza, which basically is just what it sounds like. I got me one of them. Mmmmm.... good. And cheesey. And so-o-o filling. Took 3 tries, but I finally finished it.

Riddell ,out
Ramblin' Ed