shuffle...shuffle...THUNK....Dang!!

I hope I don't get in trouble for this. It is a little bit of an e-mail conversation I had this morning. Believe it or not, it started out being about Dwight Yoakam's drummer. Never mind the twists and turns that brought us to this point, but afterward it had me thinking the whole time I was out walking the cats. So, the (sanitized) e-mail to serve as the set-up:

That is remarkable. It seems to be more common for guys to keep friends from that far back than it is for us females. I'm not sure why that is.

Maybe it's because we're basically lazy. Remember, we don't rearrange furniture or change the bathroom towel, either.

You are weird creatures.
I enjoyed it too. Thanks!

Which got me to thinking about the living room comment. It is so true.

Just put everything in the room in some logical order, and all is good. And if it is good today, why wouldn't it be good tomorrow? Maybe a slight rearrangement if I get a new couch or a bigger TV, but mostly things stay the same.

You already know the best angle for watching TV laying down without causing undue neck strain. You've already figured out how to bounce the remote signal off the glass in the picture hanging on the wall so you don't have to actually lift your arm to change channels. You have the muscle memory built up to where you can pick up, put down and pick your drink back up again from the table without taking your eyes off of the game. And, you can navigate the room in the dark, which comes in handy when you're awake enough to know you're thirstier than wino in Utah, but not awake enough to want to open your eyes. Basically, life is good and easy.

So forgive a man if he just cannot comprehend why anyone would walk in to a room and say, "Hey, let's move everything around. For fun." For FUN??? I cannot think of anything less fun. Well, getting dripped with hot candle wax sounds less fun, but you get my drift. Maybe if the cable jack goes bad an argument could be made for rearranging things. But then, the jack is not bad, and besides, jacks can be repaired.

So, we have given over any claims of sovereignty we may have had on the kitchen, bathroom, living room, bedroom or dining room. We never even bothered to stake claim to more than a sliver of the closet space or bathroom cabinets. They're all yours... go in peace. But for the love of all that is holy, keep yer mitts off the TV room.

Reasons a man my rearrange things, listed in totally random order:

5. His wife/girlfriend is making him, despite his impassioned protests.*
4. He recently discovered his "feminine side"
3. Finally got the big TV, but it will not fit on the same wall the other one did.
2. New medication with an unforeseen side effect.
1. Wife/girlfriend won't shut up about it, despite his impassioned protests.**

Really, those are the only reasons I can think of for rearranging furniture. And if you think about it for a minute, numbers 4 and 2 are just not that likely to happen. Number 3 is possible, but happens less often than it should. That should tell you something.

You do not like green eggs and ham?
I do not like them, Sam-I-am. , out
Ramblin' Ed

*To which he defiantly states, "Well, then we will have to be done by one o'clock. That's when the game starts."
**To which he defiantly states, "Well, then we will have to be done by one o'clock. That's when the game starts."