Poste. Haste.

Hola, peeps of great patience. Today is a full post, culled from countless hours of standing in the heat and rain watching Florida State Highway 60. Although some of the post may come across as racist, which even when I was kinda racist I wasn't very good at it, it is not. It is just me musing about words as I am wont to do. In fact, let me just knock that one out now.

I decided that when a black guy pulls up with a white girlfriend that to say, "Here comes a black guy with a white girlfriend," smacks of disapproval, when really I couldn't care less. But how else do you say it, even to yourself? Well, I've got it. "Here comes a negro and a she-gro." It works. Problem solved. And before you cluck our tongue at me, it is better than my first attempt, which was "Here comes a negro and his slut."

We have a stupid thing called the "Ad-Mobile" now. It is a delivery truck with the two sides and rear comprised of those tri-sided, venetian blinds style billboards. The kind that all the slats rotate simutaneously and the ad changes from Cheetos to Reeboks to Sherwin-Williams Paint. It drives up and down the road flipping it's billboards every 30 seconds or so. I mean, is that really necessary?

When I need to cut someone off in traffic to change lanes, I cut off someone on a cell phone. No... it's not some kind of revenge motive. It's just that I have found that the same hand that cannot operate turn signals is equally unable to hit the horn. Life IS fair sometimes.

I have 3 State Licenses. My wife has 1 and is working on her 2nd. So we are pretty familiar with Florida's licensing procedures. Each license requires a test, each of which mostly tests your comprehension of writing a check made out to Tallahassee.

Smooth Around the Edge 26 June, 2006

It rained so hard I thought it might
Wash over Randall's Bridge
And float this little nothin' town away
We sat real close and watched it pour
We drank up all the wine
And in between you taught me how to pray

It was love for sure this morning
But I don't believe I said
What I think you knew I thought
Was running through my head
You sure smile so pretty, Sarah
Which is good enough for me
But aimless love is such a dangerous thing

Yeah, I had my plans to do some things
But things I didn't plan
Led me traipsing half around the world
Morning skies will heal you
Miles will color in your tales
But the dusty night, she's just a naughty girl

It was love for sure this morning
But I don't believe I said
What I think you knew I thought
Was running through my head
You sure smile so pretty, Sarah
Which is good enough for me
But aimless love is such a dangerous thing

When it comes to what you're needing
You can't tell your heart a thing
Finds a gumball quarter, sees a diamond ring
Yeah, I'm that gumball quarter
Worn down smooth around the edge
From a long, long road and still ain't worth a thing

It was love for sure this morning
But I don't believe I said
What I think you knew I thought
Was running through my head
You sure smile so pretty, Sarah
Which is good enough for me
But aimless love is such a dangerous thing

Ed
Brandon FL

You cannot un-redneck some people. There is a black, 700 Series BMW in town, that has one of those $1.79 truck stop rebel flag license plates on the front. C'mon dude. Spring the cash for a reflective one, or at least an airbrushed one. Show some class.

As I stand out in front of the bank, I get asked (re-freaking-peatedly), "Aren't you hot?" "Yes I am." "Wouldn't you be cooler inside?" (Unspoken "Duuuhhhh!!") "Probably. But the job is outside." "Well, I just don't see how you can stand it." Now folks, I know that they mean well. But it doesn't matter. I smile sweetly at them all, native and transplant alike, and slowly drawl, "Well, it's what separates us from the yankees."

Wouldn't it be cool if you could just delete words from the language. Just say, "I do not approve." And poof! they'd be gone. If you could, what 5 words would you delete. Any word. English or foreign. Vulgar or descriptive. It does not matter. The only criteria is that you believe that they annoy you and the time has come for them to go. Take a few moments to think about it. My choices at the end of the post.

Last point for today. (Apparently, assuming that the time gods smile down upon me, of course, there will be another full post tomorrow. I still have a couple of PI stories to recount and some leftover items from today.) Now, let it be said that I love AI like the brother I never met. I have nothing but respect for soldiers, and this is definately not aimed at them. But it is aimed at whoever dreamed up the An Army Of One campaign. I mean, I know I don't understand it, and I'm not sure I like it. What does it mean? Join the Army, and in a firefight you're on your own? Be a man... no one's got your back? There's no "Team" in "I"? It's just kind of ridiculous. My humble suggestion, and that is all that it is... a suggestion, would be to tweak it just a little until it was something like An Army Of Sons. Lest we forget, you know.

At first mom and popa called their little boy Ned
Raised him on the banks of a river bed
Houseboat tied to a live oak tree
Home for my papa, my mama, and me... out

Ramblin' Ed

My five words?
1. I'm
2. Just
3. Trying
4. To
5. Help

(Runner-up)

1. She's
2. Got
3. A
4. Great
5. Personality