Life as a cracker

Not that your baby is particularly ugly, I back tracked. It's just that I.. uh, I... well I just never learned to warm up to the little critters. Just like I swore off of chicken nuggets after watching them in the yard for a couple of days. Chickens, that is, although at the time they were more bird-like and considerably less nugget-like. Still they were pretty fowl. HaHaHa... Get it?? Bad jokes and nasty birds. Life as a cracker. Not that I am saying kids are like chickens, although they will both run around your yard pantless, eating bugs and pooping. If you let them.

I never liked green underwear on a woman. Blue is for boys, pink is for girls and green is for fermentation. Boys can wear pink, of course, but mostly it's golfers that do. They always say that they're "secure in their manhood", which of course really means "I feel pretty". "Secure in my manhood" is a masculine trait much like golf is a sport. You know I know you know what I mean too. "Just move my ball if it's in your way. FORE!play."

Fashioned means made from. He fashioned a swimsuit from a ratty blue bandana. Hmmm, I wonder if it made his butt look big. That is not the biggest question, although the bigger question does escape me. I am made from old for I am old fashioned. Ergo, fashioned from old. Or oldness. Not sure, but either may be correct in this instance. I don't want to be old fashioned. I don't even want to be old school, although it is my understanding that old school beats old fashioned on on the Cool-o-tron. I'm about as cool as bermuda shorts, so that concerns me not. I try to be hip and with it. I try to be the understanding sort. Live in let live is my praying mantra, even if it does involve biting the head off a husband I never really needed. But to this day, I still cannot help but flinch when I see a white woman dating a black woman.

It was a summer as hot as a woman can get
Looking for love and she loves what she gets
Barefoot and singing along with the radio
'Cause the music keeps her rememberin' when
But Neil Diamond helps her forget where she's been
And she's been where a song sung blue was a hard way to go

She wasn't one of them motorbike gals
Hair in the wind and a teller of tales
No, she was a softer thing with more of a smile
And though a Harley shirt fit her right to a T
She didn't look any tougher than me
Willing and able to ride me that one extra mile

She sighed and she said, "I just quit asking why
Free as the breeze and I thought I could fly
Til I went out and found me the ground underneath of my wings
Now the music, it feels like a comfortable friend
Neil Diamond helps me forget about when
You touched me right about where it was one of them things."

Keep yer politics out of my bedroom, out
Ramblin' ed