It's all about having a plan

Words that can be mispronounced to make you snicker:
Arrears
Assess

I don't speak Thai (which, actually I CAN say, "Pome pood passat Thai, mai dai.") so for purposes of this post, imagine that "taktaktak" represents a lively conversation in the Thai language. Now, hold that thought.

My brother has never been married. he's a good dude with a good heart. A little shy, maybe, but a good catch. It seems to me he has relied a little too much on women waking up one day and driving to his house to ask him out, which to this point has had disappointing results, but things could pick up I suppose. I mean, look at me... and I've been married twice. Hold that thought.

Asian women meet other Asian women. You could move up to the Artic circle and open a coffee shop and within a week your wife will have met another just like her. They must blend really well, as I never noticed the phenomenon until I married one. They are also pretty straight forward. For example:
Woman #1: My sister (cousin, neice, friend, god-daughter) is 25 and still not married.
Woman #2: My goodness! How can I help?
#1: Who do you know?
#2: My husband has a brother (friend, cousin, nephew. co-worker, accountant, delivery boy, etc.) who is single.
#1: His specs, please.
#2: Single, never married, works such and such, makes this much, rents/owns home, good with kids, fairly white teeth, got some gut on him, good guy.
#1: Sounds good. She'll take him. Help me set up a meeting.

OK, now back to those thoughts you're holding. You are still holding them, right?

Me and my brother are doing something or another in the garage. Wife, who was came out of the womb with a phone attached to her ear, was on the phone. "taktaktaktaktaktak taktaktak taktaktak," she went. "taktaktak." Then I notice, "taktaktaktaktaktak taktaktak 44. taktaktaktaktaktak works for the government. At the airport. taktaktak Owns it, but it is small, only 2 bedrooms. taktaktaktaktaktak Very nice... and polite. taktaktaktaktaktak No, never. But had a girlfriend before. taktaktak No, not now. taktaktaktaktaktak." (I am not sure why when they talk to each other it switches back and forth between Thai and English, but it honestly does.)

So I realize that someone is in the market for a man and Noriko just happens to have one handy. I look over at Bro and tell him, "Nong's finding you a woman. Here's the cool part. You need not be present to win." Bro smiled at that, and went back to whatever he was doing. You can't stop 'em and you can't help 'em along.

BTW, my next wife (OK, there will never be a next wife. I am certian of that. But work with me.) will be Chinese, simply because being fat and out of shape is a sign of great prosperity. My plan is to start a week before I leave on a diet consisting solely of creme filled doughnuts and Mr. Pibb. That should really butterball me up. Then I'll put on a nice suit, get a manicure and stand on a corner in Quingdao (the only place in China I've ever been before, if you don't count Hong Kong or Taiwan) and wait for the women to flock to me. While it may not be a perfect plan, it does seem simple enough, and pleasant enough, to execute. Of course, the honeymoon will likely be over once she sees the trailer.

Ramblin' Ed