I am Fabular The Magnifilous, or, Rectum? Dang near killed 'em

In the winter, at least in the early '80's, Virginia Beach closed down. Even McDonalds went dark for the off season. But the lounge in the Va. Beach Hilton, Laverne's it was called, stayed open. We hung out there every night. It was close to where we were stationed in Dam Neck. Dam Neck was, but is no longer, in the middle of nowhere. Anyhow, the house band was The Snard Brothers. We knew their set by heart. When the last song of each set came up, me and O.D. Gamble (I don't usually use real names but... I mean, what a cool name!) would head out to Bobby Snard's Nissan 240Z and roll a number. About three and a half minutes later, the band would come out and burn it with us. I don't know if we were groupies or roadies. I don't think groupies. We never threw our drawers up on stage.

(This DOES relate. It spells out SNARD)

Plants will suffer any amount of indignities, and do so quietly. Serenely. I find hair clips in the parking lot all the time. Little white bows...little pink or yellow flowers..simple red bars. I clip each and every one artisticly on the landscaping ferns. I am an artist.

It has been my experience that Zoloft don't really do much if you're already pretty mellow.

Kick the Cat (Unfinished Start Version)

First thing I did when I got home
I kicked the cat for being slow
I kicked him high. I kicked him low
I kicked him just to let him know
I ain't said yes, I ain't said no
But pussy comes, and pussy goes

They asked me, "What's your favorite food?" I said, "Bromeliads." "Bromeliads?" "Yep" "You can eat those?" "No." "But you said..." "I like Bromliads." And just like that, the conversation ground to a halt.

I belong to a small, obscure cult. Tolerant Baptists. Ba-dum-dum

Sarah came in, and she was looking fine. She was in civilian clothes, not her bank clothes. I was thinking that if I was younger, better looking, wealthier and didn't smell so funny from standing in the sun all day, she'd be mine.

Stephanie was going on and on and on about this new Will Smith movie she'd seen a trailer for on AOL. Stephanie is as sweet as can be. About 22 going on 16. When she paused to take a breath, I asked, matter of factly, "Will Smith, huh? Does he play a black guy in this movie?" "Yeah!! He does. See, he's a father without much money who..." If Kiera hadn't cracked up, Stephanie would have completely missed it.

I think when God said he made man in his own image, he meant on the inside, not on the outside. It just stands to reason.

Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right. Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

I am thinking about having YOU MUST BE THIS TALL TO RIDE tattooed on my chest.

I am the armed guard outside the Brandon Blvd branch of Bank Atlantic. My job, as I understand it, is to be a visual detergent.

Anybody know my favorite candy? They're called Cow Tails. They're caramel with powdered sugar in the middle. Yikes!, they're delicious. They're American made by Goetz.

He was in the State Prison, down river at Ball Point, in Carver County. No really. He was in the Ball Point Pen.

Those who have read my writing know this to be true. I am The king of Comma-dy.

Today's GamePlease provide....

1. ANY animal (rabbit, centuar, liger, moose, ANY real or imagined animal)
2. ANY place (a city, state, the ocean, a nebulous formation, middle earth, etc.)
3. ANY activity (frolicking, shoe repair, singing, prostelyzing, begging)
4. ANY name for a country (Me Land, Glory Lucious, Hooterstein, whatever. Be creative)
5. ANY two things (bee butts and tube socks, car polish and flower petals, Bea Authur and laminate flooring)

That'll get me started. I have a bit more, but it's better to burn out than to fade to black. Rust never sleeps. Yada,yada, yada.

My recently thought of poem:

Think About It All 23 & 29 July 2006

It's Saturday evening but the July sun
Just keeps hanging around
There's thunder off in the distance some
But no rain hitting the ground
Dark clouds rolling in from the south
Don't always turn to rain
Just like you swore til death we part
But that didn't mean a thing

So if you're thinking of calling me up
Making my telephone ring
If you're thinking of calling my bluff
Remember about the rain
How it didn't fall
Think about it all

I was a man. You were a woman
And we had things to do
We tossed our dreams all in together
Tried to make 'em true
You weren't willing to share no more
Than you were willing to try
We split up over something stupid
It wasn't a pretty goodbye

If you're thinking of pointing your finger
And putting the blame on me
If you're thinking of making excuses
For all your wicked deeds
Both big and small
Yeah, think about them all

You lit your Lucky from a dying candle
On the table by your chair
Said, "They say these things'll kill you dead
But sometimes I just don't care
Some days the weight's too heavy
Some days are just too tough
Some days the Devil gets me good
Sometimes I'm just fucked up"

I'm sorry, Darlin', that's the way of the world
Things become confused
You finally get a handle on it
And the handle comes unglued
You either walk or crawl
Think about it all

Take a moment, Honey, try and
Pull your thoughts up tight
Kick your shoes off by the door
Got no place to be tonight
I'll pour two fingers bourbon
Hell, I'll pour two fingers more
I'll pour all night, won't be the first time
I've slept on the floor

If it comes up, we'll talk about
Your lying and running around
Back then it used to tear me up
But it's nothing to me now
When the rain don't fall
Think about it all

All these things that happen, happen
I don't try to make much sense
Our lives get told the way they go
Not some future perfect tense
I've got no clue where it's going
This here "story of my life"
If you want to add a chapter, girl
Just pick up your pen and write

Yeah, I used to give a rat's ass
But the rat was not amused
And what we had in commom was
We both kept getting used
Every time you called
Think about it all

It's Saturday evening but the July sun
Just keeps hanging around

Ed
Brandon Blvd.

When you started you had nothing and you're proud that you're a self made man, out
Ramblin' Ed