Friday, December 14, 2007

3/5s of a Mile in 10 Seconds*


So, as I was sitting in the Tampa Airport, waiting to fly out I kept hearing the same announcement over and over. It was a while before I realized just how stupid it actually was.

United had started up a twice daily, non-stop route between Sarasota and Miami. So far, so good, you say. But I say, in fact have already said, so far, so stupid. I shall endeavor to explain. Or for my Cuban readers, of which I believe there are pretty close to none, let me 'splain.

A quick check at World Airport Codes.com gives you the following info:

Distance between SRQ and MIA
We cannot guarantee the accuracy of this information and do not take any responsibility if it is incorrect.

The distance has been calculated as being: 289 kilometres (181 miles)

181 miles! First off, that's only a 3 hour drive. You spend 4 hours, or more, navigating the airport, flying, and retrieving luggage. Plus it'll cost more than a tank of gas. So why do they even need that route?

Secondly... non-stop?? Hell, you're barely airborne before you start your descent. Where in the world would you stop between Sarasota and Miami. And wouldn't it be easier just to taxi there if you did? There are only two places I can think of between the 2 airports. One is a dying, yet still giant swamp. So that's probably a non-starter. Most landings in the Everglades are both inadverdent and tragic. The second waypoint might be Imokalee, for a little Seminole gambling. But again, you'd probably drive there, saving room in your trunk for all of your loot. Assuming you're a winner, of course.

These little things drive me crazy. I know it's just marketing and "non-stop" sounds special somehow. Just like sending a letter to France via airmail seems faster, when in reality, most first class mail is "air mail" at some point.
There you go. Sorry, you will not get these 3 1/2 minutes back. You may have wasted less, I'm not sure. Not sure how fast you read. Don't even know if you move your lips when you read. But you probably do, only because most of my friends do.
Give me a ticket on an aeroplane. I ain't got time to take a fast train, out
Ramblin' Ed

* I used a song title from Jefferson Airplane. A subtlety to be sure, but I'm just that kinda guy. (The lyrics, dudes)

1 comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, it's quicker to drive, but you wouldn't be able to see your tax dollars at work as the folks from TSA hassle 85 yr old grandmas and such. Plus, you wouldn't get a package of airline peanuts.

You know, this is how old I am. I can remember when you sorta spiffied up a bit to fly and the huddled masses hadn't discovered airline travel yet. The only riff-raff in the boarding area would be us enlisted pukes on leave hoping to catch a flight while on standby (1/2 price!).
Now, geez where did these people come from?

Of course, you know that better than anyone R' Ed

9:37 PM  

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