We range from humorous to grimly ironic

Rogues are preferable to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest. - Alexandre Dumas

I am caught is somewhat of a dilema about what to do with my life. Literally. Do I sleep more or not? I have always been happy on 4-6 hours of sleep per night, and I figure I average 5 or so a night. I go to bed at 10:30 PM and get up at 03:45 AM on weeknights and keep close to that on weekends.

I have read that each persons body will dictate it's natural sleep rythm and needs and that all is well if you follow that. But I have also read that sleep allows your body to "idle". Your heart then beats at a much slower rate, saving lots of wear and tear on it. That makes sense, too.

In regards to the natural sleep rythm, I say, OK cool. I get more living done if I am awake 19 hours a day than if I am awake 16. Although, in the spirit of full disclosure, I must question the quality of some of those hours. Particularly the oh dark thirty hours when I nod off watching TV in my easy chair and dump hot coffee in my pajama clad lap. I don't enjoy that hour so much although, in the spirit of further disclosure, that spilt cup o' joe tends to wake me quicker and more fully than most.

As far as letting my body idle, I think, "I'll live longer, which is cool." Then I think how it's a little akin to dozing off in a theater. Yeah, you paid full price to get in and technically you've been to that movie. But you didn't see the movie. You were there, but not really. So, aside from the medical and scientific definitions, how is sleeping living? you're there, but you're not. See my point? But again, in the spirit of full disclosure, some of my dreams happen in a cooler place and in cooler ways than real life. Those are fun, especially the sexy ones and adventure ones. Not so much the melodrama ones. The question is: Is a pseudo-life well lived a fair trade off for real life not lived? That's one ripe for further pondering.

I always liked the idea of retiring and doing some easy going county job. One with benefits and a pension, but so laid back that I wouldn't mind going in. Security Guard had the laid back part going on, but the benefits and pension were $10.50 hr...period. Pay your own medical, contribute to your own 401(Ed) plan. The job I'd really like to have is the guy standing down the road from the highway construction holding the sign that says SLOW. I could go for that, even though I am unclear if it is a traffic command or a job description. Either way....

I seem to be in a black rebellion. Not a race thing, a color thing. In the navy black was the official color. Black socks with your boondockers. You must use black pen. It must be a black umbrella (once they finally let us use umbrellas, that is. Apparently, for some long time it was considered more manly to be soaking wet than use an unbrella.Go figure.). Hell, even navy blue is actually just black. we called our "navy blue" service uniform our Johnny Cashes after, you know, the man in navy blue.

So anyway, without realizing it, I have shifted everything over to browns. I have brown, tan, khaki. I probably even have taupe and just call it tan. I have greens also. The olivey kinds that are kinda brown. I have Dockers style slacks in "sand", which is really, you guessed it, a brownish white. Why? I do not know. We'll have to ask the twisted little troll that is my subconscious. I just do what he tells me and he told me "BROWN!"

Anybody watch those Thursday edition Saturday Night Live shows during the primaries? I loved the black guy (still black, not brown) that would come on and answer every observation with "Fix it!!" If you did not see the shows, that would seem stupid. But it was, I thought, clever.

The best way out is always through.
Ramblin' Ed