Job search follies-or-(No, but Yes)
Dang!, I ought to keep this job. Except they're forcing me out. The whole interview process for this job was easy. Are you breathing ?(Yes) Are you retarded or deformed in any way? (Not so you can tell) Are you drunk? (Again, not so you can tell) Are you gay, and if so can you keep a secret? (No, but Yes) OK, sign here. Viola!, I had me a navy job.
So now I'm looking for another job, a civilian job, and I don't have a clue. I finally wrote my resume and sent off to some good friends for honest critiques. I thought it was pretty impressive, covering a lot of jobs in a lot of places. A lot of technical and management training. It was, I thought, smokin'.
Joe Mama* down in Gautier, Mississippi wrote back saying basically, "I know the tech sector in Tampa has a lot of people vying for the jobs, but I've read the resume you sent me and I'm sure that after a couple of weeks knocking on their doors you'll realize that this resume is only going to have you pumping hi test at the Cargo** station." Well, I suppose that's honest...constructive...BRUTAL. But he did give me detailed pointers that I took aboard. After all, he GOT a job using his resume.
And mmg1 is too scared to write back, presumably gridlocked in the whole "if you can't say something good..." conundrum.
One company in Tampa does technical training for the Air Force (All them AF boys can keep a secret,if you know what I mean), and I posess all of the requisites but one. It says I need to be familiar with the Beechcraft aircraft. I said "what the heck", and applied for it anyway. I plan on telling them that we fly those Beechcrafts off our carriers if they ask. I meet all the other requirements, chiefly that I'm (soon to be) unemployed and in the area.
Just to hedge my bets I applied to Home Depot for about 9 different poisitons in 7 different area stores. I applied for everything but corporate whore, and that's just because it wasn't listed! I was going to apply in the same fashion to Lowe's, since they seem to have roughly the same policy on hiring military. I only hesitate because the main difference between a job with them and a job with Home Depot is fairly significant. And not in a good way, either. If I go to work for Home Depot, if anyone asks me what I do I can say, in all honesty, "I'm a Homeboy". Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. If I go to Lowe's I would become a "Loweboy". I'm sure you can see my dilema.
OK, enough crying. Like Gloria Gaynor, I will survive. But just in case, if you own a place what pumps gas I'll be glad to send you my resume.
* Yeah, that's his name. It's how I do things. Stop questioning me.
** I worked there before. What a stupid name and a stupid company. Get some gas here to make your Car-go. Sheeesh, Marie.
Pimped, out
Travelin' Ed
So now I'm looking for another job, a civilian job, and I don't have a clue. I finally wrote my resume and sent off to some good friends for honest critiques. I thought it was pretty impressive, covering a lot of jobs in a lot of places. A lot of technical and management training. It was, I thought, smokin'.
Joe Mama* down in Gautier, Mississippi wrote back saying basically, "I know the tech sector in Tampa has a lot of people vying for the jobs, but I've read the resume you sent me and I'm sure that after a couple of weeks knocking on their doors you'll realize that this resume is only going to have you pumping hi test at the Cargo** station." Well, I suppose that's honest...constructive...BRUTAL. But he did give me detailed pointers that I took aboard. After all, he GOT a job using his resume.
And mmg1 is too scared to write back, presumably gridlocked in the whole "if you can't say something good..." conundrum.
One company in Tampa does technical training for the Air Force (All them AF boys can keep a secret,if you know what I mean), and I posess all of the requisites but one. It says I need to be familiar with the Beechcraft aircraft. I said "what the heck", and applied for it anyway. I plan on telling them that we fly those Beechcrafts off our carriers if they ask. I meet all the other requirements, chiefly that I'm (soon to be) unemployed and in the area.
Just to hedge my bets I applied to Home Depot for about 9 different poisitons in 7 different area stores. I applied for everything but corporate whore, and that's just because it wasn't listed! I was going to apply in the same fashion to Lowe's, since they seem to have roughly the same policy on hiring military. I only hesitate because the main difference between a job with them and a job with Home Depot is fairly significant. And not in a good way, either. If I go to work for Home Depot, if anyone asks me what I do I can say, in all honesty, "I'm a Homeboy". Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. If I go to Lowe's I would become a "Loweboy". I'm sure you can see my dilema.
OK, enough crying. Like Gloria Gaynor, I will survive. But just in case, if you own a place what pumps gas I'll be glad to send you my resume.
* Yeah, that's his name. It's how I do things. Stop questioning me.
** I worked there before. What a stupid name and a stupid company. Get some gas here to make your Car-go. Sheeesh, Marie.
Pimped, out
Travelin' Ed
That's what I'm about. Ramblin' Ed at 8:01 PM
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