This little piggie went....to jail

What good is being young if you can't have some crappy jobs, wreck a motorcycle, marry the wrong woman or go to jail along the way?*

In fact, on the way to see Transporter 2 last night, me and my brother were talking about politicians and their handling of the questions of their drug use in their past. Each politician handles it different, ie, Clinton's "I didn't inhale" and GW's, "I'm not even going to go there." My take on it, and Bro agrees, is that the only answer that should be offered, indeed the only answer that is needed, is "I was young then." Good googly moogly. That really just about covers it. If 100% of middle America didn't buy that answer I'd...well, I'd nothing because EVERYBODY understands that answer. They'd just nod their head in knowing agreement.

In fact, my take on the typical male life, American male anyway, is that little stupid stuff that happens before the age of about 26 or 27 ought not really count. Fer instance:

Job Application Form: Have you ever shaved an animal for fun.
Job Applicant, male, 1 each: Yes.
Job Application Form: How old were you when it occured?
Job Applicant, male, 1 each: Twenty-three
Job Application Form: No problem. Your brain was not yet completely formed. Go on to next question.

The first time I went to jail I was kind of surprised by it. Just like some of you were probably surprised to see the word "first" in the preceeding sentence, since the use of the word tends to infer a certian multiplicity of events. I had refrains of Merle Haggard's "Mama Tried" running through my head (I turned 21 in prison doing life without parole..) as I was taken to the station and booked.

Fortunately for me, and this has proven true most of my life, I was polite and well behaved and was treated nicely by San Diego's finest. Also fortunately for me, I have never done anything even remotely malicious or felonious so, as I was to find out later, I was never in danger of life without parole.

In fact, I was merely in danger this time of an overnight stay in the cell (routine policy I found out) and a $135 fine. In another fact, none of my "crimes" were ever really crimes. And none make for riviting stories. In yet another fact, most of this was to give context, to give pretext, to give a lead in for using this photograph from my extensive collection of goofy mug shots, assuming you consider two extensive and even if you don't, I'll still bet it's a bigger collection of goofy mug shots than you have. And I know where to get more.

Transporter 2 was OK. Not as good as Transporter. Big surprise there. We really wanted to see Lord of War with the ever electric Nicolas Cage. But it was not showing.

But how, you are asking, did you decide to go to a 7 o'clock movie knowing that Survivor Guatemala was debuting at 8 o'clock on CBS? You also may ask, "Isn't that one of your all time favorite shows? Something you hold in the same high regard as a quiet dinner with Angelina Jolie, followed by back seat smooching?" Yes, you may ask that, although it occurs to me a little belatedly that you may not. No matter though.

The answer is that Dad recorded it for me. Pretty simple, huh? But still, I'll bet it plumb evaded some of you. And the show was good. Stephanie and Bobby Joe are back playing the game. Bobby Joe was a real wimp though, this time around.

The wife made some Japanese/Thai food which, for ease of explanation is mashed potatoes and ground pork, seasoned with white pepper, rolled in breading and deep fried. I also understand it has a Mexican and a Cuban counterpart that is similar. Who'd have thought so many different cultures would develop meat & potato recipies? But I digest..., er, digress.

When she was done, we divvied them up according to household census data. Gwen and Evelyn get 3 pieces each as they live alone. Evelyn (the other one) and Otto get 4 because there's 2 of them. And the family across the street gets 6 pieces because it's a mom (2 for her), dad (2 for him) and their 2 skinny daughters (1 each for the skinny girls). Then I went door to door delivering them. The whole time I was delivering them I couldn't help but think to myself, "This is really nice of us. I sure hope we get these plates back."

* Apparently, I was good at being young as I have experienced all four. And more.

Shake well before abusing, out
Ramblin' Ed