Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.- Robert A. Heinlein

This addresses several anxieties of the underground snoozer: Firstly it conceals his or her identity, hides an open mouth, and even goes some way towards muffling the sound of snoring. Secondly it masks the area that would be in view it the sleeper has fallen asleep with legs wide apart. Thirdly, the screen is emblazoned with the name of the station where you need to alight, so helpful fellow passengers can wake you up in time.

Yesterdiddy we went to the Flea Market out in Thononossassa. It was a real redneck on parade type of thing. Lot's of fat chicks in tight clothing, fat guys in shorts (ugghh!) and a rebel flag emblazoned on everything from cell phone cases to baby bibs. And despite it all, I somehow did not stand out.

I decided to get a burger there as we only passed one Waffle House on the way there, and it had people backed up waiting for a table. I absolutely LOVE Waffle House, but still, I will not wait in line to get into one.

So the menu at the flea market joint had the basic burgers, dogs, philly steak, etc., with an "add menu" to the bottom. You know, add cheese - .59, add bacon- .85, and also in this case, add chili- .59. So I ordered a double burger with chili. The little girl behind the counter literally just stared at me. Then she said, "No one's ever ordered that before."

So I asked if, nobody else ever having asked for a chili burger before notwithstanding, could I please have mine anyway? She actually had to go ask.

She came back and said, and I am not kidding you, that I could have the double burger, and I could have a small container of chili to put on it, but I would have to put it on there myself. I of course asked why that was, especially given that the menu says they'll add chili for the very reasonable price of fifty nine cents. The answer didn't make any sense to me.

It was something about burger being one place in this 10' X 10' hut and the chili in another, a problem that obviously does not come into play if you order a chili dog because I ordered one of them too and it came without a side order of complication. Oh well, the moral is that I am, pure and simply, a hassle magnet.

So, while I was at the Thonosassassa Redneck Flea Market, I bought some things. I bought my brother some Japanese swords and a display stand. They were reasonably priced. Because they were made in Pakistan. Japanese swords from Pakistan. I was going to call them Pakinese swords, but that more or less brought to mind a samauri lap-dog kind of image that just didn't work for me. "I will disembowel you, mortal enemy of mine, but first I must yip mindlessly for a moment then poop on the rug. Prepare to be vanquished right after that."

I also bought for me, a new shovel, a new rake and a hand sized pick axe. I am prepared for extreme gardening now. I now have only the one corner of the yard that I cannot go into. It's the corner where I planted the shade loving bromeliads in the full sun. Like the lady told me to, even though it didn't sound right to me. Yeah, well the broms didn't die... but boy howdy, they're really pissed. I don't even walk by there without somebody to watch my back.

Drive by quoting:

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum. --George Muncaster (Air Force Wisdom)

The fact that no one understands you doesn't make you an artist. - Unknown

I don't intend for this to take on a political tone. I'm just here for the drugs. - Nancy Reagan, former First Lady

I was so poor growing up ... if I wasn't a boy ...I'd have nothing to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield

A horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be lead. - Stan Laurel

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger - Franklin P. Jones

Lions and tigers and bares, out

Ramblin' Ed