Are They At Least Ill Tempered Sea Bass??

I saw one of those infernal "Proud Parent" bumper stickers that I am not so sure was completely thought out. Seems this person was the proud parent of a "Super Gobbler" at Turkey Creek Elementary.

Speaking of things that are not completely thought out...I hope... was the United Van Lines truck that had big, bold letters proclaining "S & M Moving". Seriously. I took a mental picture, have a look.

When Tom Jones' It's Not Unusual gets stuck in your head, you are basically screwed.

What Do These Things have in Common? (Answers at bottom)

A) Cell Phone, Alligator Clip, Duct Tape (Easy)

B) Gin, Fig Newton, Strawberry Seeds (Moderate)

C) Desk Calendar, Decorative Mirror, Fireplace Log (Difficult)

When people come through the door, they will frequently ask, "How ya doin'?" I mess with them. What they think I say is, "Hi." But what I'm really saying is, "High."

Like the dog that I am, my aliegence can be bought with food.

Poll your congressman and find out where they stood on the flag burning amendment. Then ask them if it might be OK to smear bug guts across a flag, which is pretty much what you're doing with one of them patriotic US flag motif bug screens you buy for your 4X4 F-250 Super Duty King Cab. If they say bug guts is OK, ask them why. If they say guts are not, ask where the Constitutional Amendment banning bug screens stands right now. If they trivialize the question, ask them what good they are then?

Bang! Bang! On the door, Baby..... B-52s in Love Shack

I'm changing my name to P. Dribble. The older I get, the more that it's like.

How can you say you like someting better than something that you have never tried? You can like being married to your wife, but how can you say that you like it better than being married to another woman if you've never been married to the other woman? You can imagine you'd like it better. You can like the idea of it better. But I don't think you can say you like it better because it isn't a fair comparison. I like the life I've led, but how would it have turned out if I had stayed home as the area exploded with opportunity? Maybe I would have met the perfect woman, found the perfect job and fell into the perfect 2 car, 3 kid suburban life. I say I like my life and that is true. I just don't know if I can say that I like it better. I suppose I'm to the "what if" stage of life.

I think a lot more mattresses get sold every day than we think. It's surprising, really.

There's a customer that has this really nice Lincoln that comes in to the bank very frequently. Her front plate says "This car belongs to Jesus". I figure one day I'm just gonna hop in it and go for a ride. I don't see much of a problem with it. However, should I find myself on the hard end of an explaination for my actions with a Hillsborough County Sheriff's Deputy, I believe I will tell him not to worry. This car belongs to Jesus, and Jesus loves me.

I don't know whether to be a bootlegger or a pimp. NASCAR was born out of bootlegging. But a pimp gets to wear a fur coat.

The cat's screaming at the back door and the wife's screaming at the front door. Who do you let in first? Keep in mind that the cat will shut up once you let them in.

If you'd shine half a shoe, you'd do half a job- Capt Phil Coady, Commanding Officer, USS Antietam

In the paper, I read Opinions first, Editorials second, Local news third and National news fourth. If I cannot get to the local and national news it's no biggie. Murder, suffering, scandal, and war. All you gotta do is change the byline. But I like to read the Opinions and Editorials to either find like minded folk or to confirm my suspicion that everybody else is a freak-in' moe-ron!

Words writ, but not in anger:













Been Tryin' 17 August 2006

I used to paint the town
In shades of black. In shades of jealousy
I didn't have direction
In my hard carousing life

I just grabbed for what I wanted
Did not separate the wants from needs
And absent any guidance
Darkness overtook the light

Can't you see what you need
I am here on bended knees
And I'm tryin' to talk to angels
Can't you see

When the clouds were breaking
From the thunderstorm's unpretty truths
You were close beside me
When the moon slipped through the mist

It's so hard to be holy
We have never been the patient kind
Trapped in Southern gothic
How'd it ever come to this?

Can't you see what you need
I am here on bended knees
And I'm tryin' to talk to angels
Can't you see

Nothing's ever easy
Might the future bring us troubled times
Then can I lean on you for comfort?
Because you can lean on me

When every breath's a gamble
Have to play the cards the way they're dealt
But if you get all right with Jesus
Don't gotta worry 'bout those things

Can't you see what you need
I am here on bended knees
I've been tryin' to talk to angels
Can't you see

Ed
Brandon Blvd

Answers to What Do These Things have in Common?
A) Nothing; B) Nothing; C) Nothing