Things to believe in

Interesting theory that holds people without a lot of options tend to be happier with their choices than those with many options. I quote, from the ripped out by hand shard of newsprint that was yesterday's paper, an author who's byline is misplaced:
"[The happier are] Those for whom the choice was irrevocable. When options are open, the mind generates debate. When options are closed, the mind generates satisfaction."

We're having some kind of Christmas heatwave. I know we are not the only ones. D.C was, I think, in the 60s yesterday. Everyone seems to be pretty mild, at least on the East Coast. But here I type this, soaked in the same holiday sweat I have been steeping in all week. in the 80s and humid. It is supposed to be about 10 degrees cooler and pleasant.

Nothing generates debate like two people arguing different sides of an issue.

I saw a $161 string of holiday garland yesterday. It broke down to $9 for the garland itself and $152 for the locksmith to get her back into her house when she locked herself out. Outside on the top balcony. Without her cell phone. With her husband 4 states away on business. By deciding to just break a pane of glass to regain entry, then repeatedly having a heavy duty staple gun bounce off the pane and back at her shocked face, she also discovered, somewhat to her comfort and peace of mind, that her house had come with hurricane glass. Hence the locksmith, summoned by a passerby she was finally able to flag down. I will say this about it, "Ha Ha Haaa."

I believe that the New Orleans Saints are for real. I believe that Indianapolis is overhyped this year. I fear that the Steelers are in a poor position to repeat. That's my NFL summary for you.

I also believe that the Florida Gators could be NCAA national champions and that they probably won't.

I believe that I will watch "Armed and Famous" at least once.

I believe that time spent with friends is never wasted. Unless they're pissing you off. Then that's a waste of time.

I believe that I would like to go to Bolivia, but I don't know what I'd do there.

I believe that 2 Zoloft is sufficient. 3 is overdoing it. No one needs to be that happy.

I believe that while I am completely at ease with the idea of NASCAR, I don't actually see the point of it.

I believe that I would have more friends if I had more time.

I believe that while it is more blessed to give than to recieve, most people find the other way around to be easier.

I believe I may be cynical. Yeah, right!

I wish everybody a Merry Christmas and a happy holiday week. AI, if you read this, I finally got my chance to come meet you, and don't doubt for a moment that I would (Red Queen and Pipedragger can vouch for that), and you are off in Iraq. OK, I'll give you "unavoidable circumstances" this time. But next time you gotta be home and buy me a beer.

This for all of you who have forgotten how much we loved this song. Back when jimmy Buffett was synonamous with good times. Before he bacame a brand.

God's Own Drunk
By: Lord Buckley
1974
"Well, like I explained to y'all before I ain't no drinkin' man. I tried it once, and it got me highly irregular and I swore I'd never do it again. But I promised my brother-in-law that I'd go up and watch his still while he went into town to vote.

It was up there on the mountain where the map said it would be. Friends let me tell you one thing though, it wadn't no ordinary still. It stood up that mountainside like... like a huge golden opal.

God's yellar moon was a' shinin' on the cool clear evenin', God's little lanterns just a' twinklin' on and off in the heavens and, like I explained to you once before, I ain't no drinkin' man, But, temptation got the best of me, and I took a slash... (wshew!... woah...) That yellar whiskey runnin' down my throat like honeydew vine water, and I took another slash. Took another and another and another. 'fore you knew it I'd downed one whole jug o' that shit and commenced to get hot flashes.

Goosepimples was runnin' up and down my body and a feelin' came over me like, somethin' I'd never experienced before, It's like, like I was in love,


In love for the first time, with anything that moved... animate, in-animate it didn't matter. It's like there's a great neon sign flashin' on and off in my brain sayin, "Jimmy Buffett there' a great day a comin'..." 'Cause I was drunk.

Now I wadn't, uh, knee-crawlin', slip-slidin', reggy-youngin', commode-huggin' drunk, I was God's own drunk, and a fearless man; And that's when I first saw the bear.

He was a Kodiak lookin' fella 'bout 19 feet tall he rambled up over the hill 'spectin' me to do one of two things: flip or fly, I didn't do either one. It hung him up. He starts sniffin' 'round my body tryin' to smell fear, but he ain't gonna smell no fear, 'cause I'm God's own drunk and a fearless man. It hung him up. He looked me right in my eyes and my eyes was a lot redder than his was. It hung him up.

So I approached him and I said, "Mr. Bear, I love every hair on your 27 acre body. I know you got a lotta friends over there on the other side of the hill. There's ole' Rear Bear, Tall Bear, Freddy Bear, Kelly Jair, Relly Bear, Smelly the Bear, Smokey the Bear, Pokey the Bear; I want you to go back over there tonight and tell 'em I'm feelin' right. You tell 'em I love each and every one of 'em like a brother and a sister; but if they give me any trouble tonight, I'm gonna run every Goddamned one of 'em off the hill."

He took two steps backwards and didn't know what to think. Neither did I, but, being charitable and cautious, well hell, I approached him again. I said, "Mr. Bear, you know in the eyes of the Lord, we're both beasts when it comes right down to it. So I want you to be my buddy, 'Buddy Bear.'" So I took ole' Buddy Bear by his island sized paw and I led him over to the still. Now he's a' sniffin' around that thing 'cause he's smellin' somethin' good. I gave him one of them jugs of honeydew vine water, he downed it upright, (looked like one of them damn bears in the circus sippin' sasparilly in the moonlight.) I gave him another and another and another 'fore I knew it, he'd downed eight of 'em and commenced to do the "bear dance." Two sniffs, a snort, a fly, a turn and a grunt; and it was so simple like the jitterbug it plumb evaded me.

And we worked ourselves into a tumultuous uproar and I's awful tired, went over to the hillside, and I laid down, went to sleep, slept for four hours, and dreamt me some tremulous dreams And when I woke up, Oh, there was God's yellar moon a' shinin' on the clear cool evenin'. And God's little lanterns just a' twinklin' on and off in the heavens, And my buddy the bear was a' missin'... yeah, you want to know somethin' else friends and neighbors, so was that still.


God's own drunk and a fearless man, out
Ramblin' Ed