Traffic whoas

There is little that is more embarrassing, more frustrating, or more difficult than to extricate yourself from a closed toll lane during rush hour. As I discovered yesterday, just because the one lane is nice and empty does not mean the other drivers are soulless lemmings. It might, in fact, mean that the lane is closed.

The expense of a luxury car that a man buys for his trophy wife seems to be directly proportional to her inability to drive it properly.

If you intend to smoke a cigar in a Pontiac, wear a gray (or preferrably ash colored) suit. Pontiacs create a vortex of swirling, unpredictable winds inside the... the... what is it called? The cockpit?

There are not really any great bumper stickers anymore. Used to be, but now there are only proud parents of elementary kids. Kids that are not only special, but are too good for drugs. Oh, and everybody down here still has either a "Bush '04" or a "W" sticker on their SUV. But no light, funny reading as you're stuck sucking up fumes.

As a preview, I am home Christmas week. Then in January:
Week 1: Phoenix
Week 2: Baltimore
Week 3: Miami
Week 4: Charlotte
Luckily, it is only a few days of each week, and not all 5 days. I intend to take the wife to Charlotte with me, as that is where all of my extended family lives.

Have you ever seen Dallas from a DC-9 at night?, out
Ramblin' Ed