Slown down

I don't consider myself neurotic or anything, but I got me my "habits". With an A, not an O and two B's. Things that I compulsively do. Like turn off the water if it runs more than 30 seconds. Or rushing to shut the refrigerator door before all the cold gets out. But that's normal. Hell, that's ecological, which, I believe, means logical for the ecology.

But there's other compulsive stuff I do. Road Kill, for one. I do my absolute best to avoid dead stuff in the road when I am driving. In Virginia, my drive to work included a 2 mile stretch of backwoods road that I called "Death Highway" for it's large amount of, and surprisngly diverse makeup of, roadkill. Anyway, upon passing by a roadkill successfully without thumping over top of it I will say to myself, "No degradation". You know, I did not further desecrate the body. If I clip it I will mutter, "Slight degradation". And should I whump right over top of it I will shake my head and sadly say, "Major degradation". Karma, if you're watching, you can see I'm trying.

I also cannot see a Jaguar without a mental gesture. Jags, as you may recall, are my favorite cars. I used to count them on the highway when I was guarding the bank, bounce that number against the number of ambulances I counted, and if it was at least a 2:1 ratio in favor of the Jaguars, I considered it a good day. But what you didn't know is that upon sighting said Jaguar, I am compelled to give it a "thumbs up" sign. Nothing big or flashy, but the thumb will assuredly go up. I don't know a lot, but I know what I'll do in any given situation. Like if I ever met Kevin Bacon I'd ask him why he thinks we want to see him naked in movies as often as we do. He's not exactly a looker.

I got other afflictions.... er, I mean "habits". But they can wait. No need to reveal too much, too soon.

I put Christmas lights up yesterday for the first time in my life. I'm not a celebratory type of guy. I celebrate most holidays by watching TV. Or drinking. Or drinking and watching TV. Or shooting birds. Well, OK, not shooting birds. Well... shooting birds at stupid pundits on TV, if that counts. But anyway, my wife that cute little "Ask. Nag. Sulk." thing she does when she wants something. And she wanted lights. She also wanted a big old gaudy 8 foot high stack of Christmas present boxes, outlined in lights, and with a lid that mechanically opened and closed. Nothing like that will ever...EVER... find it's way into my yard. It's way too trailer park for me. Curse you Home Depot for even putting the notion in her head.For some reason, I seem to be at an age where I actually got to have a reason, and a fair chance that I will go outside, before I will doff the pajamas and robe and don some clothes. By using the words don and doff, I feel that I brought a goodly amount of class to this post. Don't you agree?

A) Five jobs I have had in my life:
1. Warehouseman
2. Security Guard
3. AOL Call Center
4. Senior Chief Firecontrolman
5. Technical Trainer

B) Four movies I could watch over and over:

1. The Replacements

2. The Whole Nine Yards

3. Die Hard

4. The Road to Perdition

C) Four places I have lived:

1. Riegelwood, N.C.

2. Yokosuka, Japan

3. Long Beach, CA

4. Erie, PA

D) Four TV shows I love to watch:

1. Survivor

2. Amazing Race

3. Ugly Betty

4. My Name is Earl

E) Four places I have been on vacation:

1. New South Wales, Australia

2. Nashville, TN

3. New Orleans, LA

4. Manila, Philippines

F) Websites I visit daily:

1. Google

2. Yahoo

3. BLANK (The stumper here is "daily", as opposed to "often")

4. BLANK

G) Four of my favorite foods:

1. Pizza

2. Philly Cheesesteak

3. Boll Weevil Burgers (google link)

4. Lumpia

H) Four places I would rather be right now:

1. New Orleans

2. Bangkok

3. Venezuela

4. Hooters

I) Four friends I think will respond:

1. Trick question. Who has 4 friends??

2.

3.

4.

She's a summer's breeze
I'm a hurricane
She blows into town
And I blow the town away, out
Ramblin' Ed