A series of ironies from Eastern Hillsborough County

This is a description of someone I had occasion to spend the day with. It is quite short and is written in prose, but it is no less real and no less accurate for it. I tried to be polite and understanding, but he was old (older than my illustration), overbearing, and cantankerous. Or maybe not cantankerous. Maybe just contrary. I'll admit to being a little hazy on the exact difference between the two. Still, he managed to steer us from one place to another where he could sit and chain smoke while monopolizing each conversation, even as he repeated himself frequently. I titled it :

He Smelled of Bad Habits

I found what I was not seeking. An old man who stood there reeking of hard, bad habits and stories that were too often told.

I've seen four of these now. They're called "The Hidden Hitch". Sure, they look spiffy and very convienent. But I can see 'em, so how are they hidden?

The vast expanse was a pretty, white sugar sand and a path off of and onto what used to be an out of the way county road between small farm communities. The orange trees were all pushed over, stacked on one end, and set afire leaving just the aforementioned sandy patch. The name of this new subdivision? "The Preserves".

Schedule for Feburary, in order: Boston, Louisville, Phoenix. At least there is a logical progression westward. I checked with Gunner and he is not close enough to Louisville to sneak in a visit. It's just as well. I am much more entertaining from afar anyway.

Now, as if the hurricanes and devastating tornados were not enough to make you think twice about making a life for yourself in Florida, we got this. See, I was off near Turkey Creek, FL scouting out a bunch of old phosphate pits (mines) that had been reclaimed, filled with water, and turned into a right nice sportsmans playground and bass fishery, when I spotted the sign. I had neither my camera nor my camera phone with me, so we will just have to trust my accuracy in describing it to you. It was all official, with a red band across the top proclaiming "WARNING" all serious, like one of them DANGER! HIGH VOLTAGE placards. However, this was not for dangerous voltage. Nope, nothing in Florida is ever that easy.... or that normal. This sign proclaimed, all officially like I done told you, that "WARNING! THE BUZZARDS WILL DAMAGE YOUR CAR" Seriously. I even read it twice to be sure. Welcome to southwest Florida.

Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves, out
Ramblin' Ed