Monday, February 05, 2007

You, Sir, are no Nostril Damn Us

My predictions in a recent "I believe " post:

I believe that the New Orleans Saints are for real. NOPE!!

I believe that Indianapolis is overhyped this year. NOPE!!

I fear that the Steelers are in a poor position to repeat. YEP!

I also believe that the Florida Gators could be NCAA national champions and that they probably won't. NOPE!!

I believe that I will watch "Armed and Famous" at least once. YEP! (Exactly once)

I woke up to a nightmare. Not from a nightmare, mind you, to a nightmare. Seems that in the course of the evening the dog had burrowed underneath the covers. She went in head first. That in itself struck me as strange since that, in my experience anyway, is more of a cat manuver. But,of course, she did not go completely down. Nope. She had managed to come to rest with her butt resting right square on the adjacent pillow. So, you say, that's unpleasant, but hardly a nightmare. Well then, buckwheat, stop interrupting and let me finish. She had come to rest facing me, and was sleeping with her legs slpayed open. Completely akimbo, if you will. I awaken and open my eyes to find myself face to, um, parts with my dog. And yes, as a matter of fact I am scarred from the experience, thank you.

I have the most complicated taxes I've ever had this year. Between us we've had 5 jobs, 2 mortgages, a money market, a 401k, stocks, 2 student loans and bunches of job or school related expenses. The thought of it all makes my head swim. But rather than put a pair of speedos on my head (it's swimming, get it?) I'll probably hire a tax man to help me. Most of my life I have just filed the EZ. I made this... I paid this... Gimme back that.

I must say, I enjoy having a corporate travel office. I just call up American Express and begin ruminating, "Well, I want a room near the airport, but not in it. A smoking room, for the daily cigar. I like places with the word "suites" in the name, but prefer one with wireless internet and a shuttle to the airport. But I still want a car. Intermediate size is fine, but not a Ford. Specify not a Ford. Or Hyundai. I don't like Hyundais either." I feel like a rock star ordering up a bowl of M&Ms for the dressing room with all of the brown ones removed.

I know I'm an airhead, but Idol is on, ACC conference play is in full swing, LOST starts back tonight, Survivor starts back tomorrow night, and The Amazing Race starts back in a week or so and Rob & Amber are running in it again. So, whether you agree about my airheadom or not, it is certianly a great time to be alive.

In a big country, dreams come alive, out
Ramblin' Ed

4 comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah... corporate travel. You've arrived, R' Ed.

I never did that but I did experience the amazing difference when TDY as a GS-12 vs TDY as a uniformed snot. Better rooms and WAY better per diem rate.

Enjoy it. It's what made the country great. Looking out the window in business class, watching the flyover zone go by underneath you and thinking, "I wonder how the poor, huddled masses are doing today?" Ah... a great life. :-)

Of course, now that I'm retired and with a subsequent and stupefying reduction in income I know exactly how the poor, huddled masses are doing! :-)

A.G.T.

3:24 PM  
Blogger Ramblin' Ed said...

I know what you mean. I did not realize how much I was making until I wasn't making it anymore.

Now, after a year of knocking about, I am making more $$ than I was in the navy, but it is really still less. Before, in Japan, my only bill was the internet and gas for the cars. Now its bills and mortgages, and dentists and on and on. I mean, I'm making it, but still somtimes I just step back and go, "Damn! Everybody's got a hand in my pocket."

7:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

True, you weren't building up home equity, but there was something to be said for living in one of Uncle Sam's houses. If the sink leaked or the commode stopped up, no problem, just call the Housing Maintenance Office and let them take care of it.


A.G.T. who signed in as "Other' instead of Anonymous... hope that mess up the servers at booger.com

11:38 PM  
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