Talkin' 'Bout M-manifesto

I was listening to something coming home from work. I can't remember exactly what, as I tend to wander in and out of focus as I drive, my mind moving lazily between architecture along the way, what I want to blog about (but never seem to actually get done), a nice butt on the baywalk, back to architecture, and over what I should have said in response to a snarky comment. Hey, I got plenty of time and my mind seems to, well, have a mind of it's own. We fairly well co-exist.

So wherever I exactly was and whatever I was exactly listening to, and I think I have it narrowed down to a) The Kings of Leon, or b) the radio, this line was sung and it cut through the murk and laze (laze: a haze-like laziness): "I am who the hell I am". It didn't come out as some 4 wheeling, flag waving, red necking challenge and it wasn't even particularly emphasised. It was pretty matter-of-fact, basically the same kind of feeling as when Jimmy Buffett sang, "Some of it's magic and some of it's tragic, but I've had a good life all the way."

Well I am unique you know, just like everybody else, so that realy struck a chord. How much easier it is to explain how it is that you think, what motivates you, how you determine right from wrong when you can just reach into your pocket and pull out, "We-ellll, I am who the hell I am," and then absentmindedly spit a little patooie onto the grass.

It would make it easier to explain that I am convinced that all politicians are liars and liars should be ostracised. All Florida politicians (with the possible exception of the Governor who is more a populist than anything and the jury is still out on), however, are damn liars and damn liars should be taken out back and uncerimoniously shot.

I could more eloquently enumerate the reasons I love Johnny Cash and Jason Aldean; Jordin Sparks and Katherine McPhee; Black Sabbath, Blue Oyster Cult, Johnny Lang, BB King, Jason and the Scorchers, Georgia Satellites, Ryan Adams, Andy Williams, The songs "It's Raining Men", "I will Survive" and "Turn The Beat Around". Jimmy Buffett and George Jones. Dean Martin (well, some of the time), Prince (He is too freaking funky. And cool), The Mavericks, The Mills Brothers and The Funkadelics. Dr. John, Gipsy Kings and Kenny Wayne Sheppard. I don't consider myself special in that I like many different music. I think most people do. Because we are who the hell we are.

It would make my belief guns out of control is just as distasteful as gun control, and that any kind, anytime, anywhere, just because I want to is not sound policy. Take one hunting, keep one in the glove box to ward off road ragers, sleep with one under your pillow for protection. Hospitals, churches, kindergarden graduations usually don't necessitate packing heat. And yes, I have heard the argument, but... I am who the hell I am.

I am who the hell I am because I believe:

1. Kids should get whupped for acting the fool. Twice for doing it in public.
2. Your socks should compliment your belt and slacks. If you are wearing any black, put the brown shoes back in the closet.
3. Burning the flag shows you're an idiot, but it doesn't make you a criminal.
4. I really don't care if homosexuals get married. I don't see how it really affects me. They're adults.
5. If you don't have the money in the treasury, don't spend it.
6. Politicians should post a resume. They should not be allowed to campaign. If you're too lazy to read the resume, you're probably too lazy to vote also. When they suck, we should be able to pink slip them with 2 weeks notice, but none should be able to serve more than 5 years. A good president should be retained until he quit being a good president, therefore giving him incentive to be a good president while elliminating the whole lame-duck nonsense. And unless you came from a job that paid a six figure retirement for just 2 years work, you shouldn't get one for being a public servant. Hell, you shouldn't get it then, either, since you'd have one from the previous job.
7. Whatever your neighbor is doing in his yard is OK because it is his yard. If it really, really bothers you to watch, then put up a fence.
8. In most situations, you don't get to tell me what to do.
9. If you let a guy on the TV, radio, or website tell you what you think, you are dangerous.
10. "Yee-Ha" is not a foreign policy.
11. Survivor, American Idol and The Amazing Race are just good television.
12. The Constitution was not written to infer anything and is not a so called living document. It said, "These are your rights" , and went on to list them specifically. You should note that the list is actually fairly limited. An "expectation" on your part is not necessarily a "right". And it said "The federal government shall...", and anythig that we didn't expressly say the federal government shall do it isn't supposed to do, but is to let the state's decide.
13. Santana and Rob Thomas flat out nailed "Smooth" when they recorded it.

14. Tattoos make a woman look trashy.

15. Mushrooms are a fungus and therefore not a food.

16. Dust never sleeps. It's better to burn out than to be aflame. Welfare mothers make better lovers.

17. I am less altruistic than I am too lazy to try to hammer you into submission anymore.

Anyway, we are who the hell we are. That's all I'm saying.

Who's gonna steal the peanut buter? I'll grab a can of sardines, out

Ramblin' Ed