Areyoufromfortsmith? Wellareya?

I get along well talking to non-native English speakers. I am patient. And I listen. No, I mean I really listen. It is important to hear everything in context so as to understand what is being said. For instance, I have often boxed up surplus knick-knacks and winter clothes to be put in stone. Yes, I put them in stone, which is the best my wife does when she wants to say storage. Although, lately she has latched onto using "little house" or even "shed". However, being told we were putting my sweaters into stone took a while to decipher.

Some things are easier, such as explaining to the booksore cashier that I was in the navy, as opposed to the armin (army) as she had inquired. Or when it has been confided to me that "the lady over there is such a "bish" to the neighbors in her building."

It all comes down to listening to the entire statement or question and filling in the word that is most likey meant. And it helps to not be too self conscious to say, "Sorry. I'm not quite sure what you are trying to say. Could you tell me again?" And I think being from the south helps.

I have said before, that being raised a proper southerner helped me a lot traveling Asia because traits like being polite and respectful, pleases and thank yous, being reserved rather than boisterous in public, and the tendency to defer to the wishes of others when possible are all traits society values in most of Asia. China being it's own little case study, of course, and somewhat the exception to the aforementioned rule.

The southerner's tendancy to speak more slowly has helped when conversing with non-native speakers. We naturally speak more slowly which makes it an easy jump to speaking with a measured cadence. The slow and measured style of speaking gives them more time to hear the words in their head and follow along. I have been told many, many times that it is easier to talk with me than usual. I smile at that and thank them. Politely and in a slow, measured cadence.

Unlike our more frenetic brethren to the north, southerners are not in quite the same hurry to spit out the syllables and move on to the next. We just sort of let them wander out of out mouths at whatever leisurely pace suits them. Except for, it seems, some Arkansans. Again let me say that when spouting out rules, regardless of how arbitrary and pop psychology they may be, backed up as these are by no scientific evidence and even less research, there will be exceptions. Like Arkansans. Or rather, some of them.

Arkansas is a southern state as best I know. Yet I have met people from there that jabber on at a mile a minute. Got to keep interrupting them and ask them to slow down so that I can understand them. And why is that, I have wondered. I think I have nailed down the reason, and it is perhaps, a geographical anomaly. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Crap! Now he's probably going to explain this "geographical anomaly" theory of his." And you would be thinking right. So let me explain.

Northerners talk fast, southerners slow. Arkansas is in the south, but the northern half of the southern half of the states. So they are, at best, kind of confused. And I did, I thought about it a lot. When I was living in Louisiana I had cousins-in-law who had moved from the Shreveport area up into Arkansas. And they didn't talk fast. So... was the rule wrong, or were they abnormal. I think neither.

See Shreveport is in the northern half of the state, in fact the northernmost part of the state, but Louisiana is firmly in the southern half of the southern half of the states, so by extension, completely southern no matter what. Plus, the cousins-in-law had only moved to Magnolia, Arkansas, which is one of the southernmost parts of Arkansas, kind of negating that Arkansas is in the northern half of the southern half of the states. By comparison, most of the speedy Arkansas talkers I have met were from closer to Fort Smith, which is further north in the state, thus putting them in the unenviable position of being in the northern half of a state that is already in the northern half of the southern half of the states. I mean, they're practically yankees, right?

I might could go on. I have not completely confused myself yet. But I think you are seeing my point. I can easily converse with foreigners because, luckily, I am not from Arkansas. Fort Smith or otherwise.

I am, however, holed up in a Hilton on Century Blvd in Los Angeles.

And I hope God forgave George Carlin his atheism for making us all laugh so hard. He's a hippy dippy angel now.

Peace, out
Ramblin' Ed