Money Cat & the Scurrilous Dog

"Hey... tall, dark and oblivious. We gotta pee over here." "Dude, I just woke up . And anyway, don't pee over there. Lemme get something on and we'll go outside."

Backtalk. That's what I get. I'm all about giving. And getting... getting crap. Well, crap and backtalk. Backcrap. Craptalk. Whatever.

So we went outside. You know the routine. Oh dark thirty. Grass all wet and dewy. "I gotta pee" turns into "I really feel like sniffing stuff. Endlessly and randomly". Dude, c'mon. I am cold and decaffeinated. And my feet are wet. And I thought we were here to pee. What is there about a pile of sticks that you find so irresistible, anyway? Duuuuude, c'mon!!!!

Back inside: "Hey, yo, long, tall, and pinkish. We need to talk." Huh? A summons? From a house pet? What the... "Alright, man's best fiend..." "That's friend, buttwipe." "No, that's fiend, drool master. What you got on your mind?" " Yeah, what's the deal with the yard?" "What do you mean?" "Well, why am I always out in it?" "You need some sun. Your ass is too white." But I'm on an aircraft cable." "Well, you ate through the rope." "But I'm in a fence." "That you routinely jump." "You're a homo!" "That's MISTER Sapien to you."

"And when are you gonna get me a lady friend?" ""You are the lady friend." "Oh, right. When you gonna get me a boyfriend?" "I got you one. You hate him." "Well, not my fault. He's defective." "How so?" "No yip control. Just runs in circles, yipping like a fool. S'posed to be funny, I think. But we are not impressed." "Hard bitch to please." "Deal with it, manwhich."

"As a matter of fact there, sluggo, why do you watch so much TV?" "Because I can. Why do you spend the day licking your parts?" "Because I can." "Ouch...touche." "No, not touche." "Why not?" "Hellooooo... I can watch TV too. Can you clean yourself, too?" "Sadly, no." "Well then, there you go."

Money Cat

Money Cat, Money Cat. Look at that dough.

What will you do with it? Where will you go?

"Well, I heard tell of this one place I think I'd fit in

They called it a cat house, but where to begin?"

Money Cat, that ain't no place to hang out.

"Hey,who's got the Benjamins and who does without?"

Money Cat, Money Cat. I thought we were friends.

"I don't answer to Money Cat. Now I'm Fuzz Pimp."

Fuzz Pimp don't work for me. It don't have a ring.
"Rhyme it there, white boy, embracing my bling!"
Money Cat...Fuzz Pimp.... neither one's good
Feline's ain't gangsta. The kitchen's no hood.

"You say I ain't gangsta? You say I ain't hard?
I've been dissed enough. Let me out in the yard."
Alright Mo'Cat, sorry. But hold on and think
Yeah, you're sure enough gangsta, but you're scared of the street.

"Ah...then Fuzz Pimp forgives you cuz you got my back,
plus I macked me some Friskies, so it's time for a nap."

Peace out,

Money Cat Fuzz Pimp Daddy