Alas, the lowly sand crab.

"Damn sandcrabs!" Words I have spoken on many an occasion. Words I may perhaps never speak again. Because what we once ridiculed, what we once viewed askance, what we once secured our secrets and hid our tools from, well, now we is (now we is one of?). Yep. I am a sand crab.

Sand Crab: A civilian in Civil Service positions working for the U.S. Navy. Very derogatory. Worse yet, I am a faux sand crab because I am working for TSA, not the navy, and I am in private business, not a civil servant. A poser. A pretender to the sand crab mantle. Crabby lite, if you will. Ah well, what can I do? Other than slink through the day, that is.

Later we will do more, as I am rather enjoying this, but for today, here is other letter S navy slang you may enjoy.Remember, navy slang tends to be more profane than politically correct:

Scope Dope: Radarman or Operations Specialist
Scrambled Eggs: Gold embroidered oak leaves decoration on a Commander's/Captain's cover. Admirals have Double Eggs. The similar silver clouds and lightning bolts addition to an Air Force Lt. Col/Colonel's hat is called Farts and Darts.

Screaming Alpha: A sailor who is on fire and is running around screaming. Alpha fires leave ash.

Screw the Pooch: To mess up in a big way. Usually followed by a visit with the old man.

Scupper Trout: A turd or other length of feces.

Shit in one sock: Sailor who is very competent as in, "He has his shit in one sock". A VERY competent sailor "has his shit in one properly stenciled sock." Derogatory rejoinder is "But it has holes in it".
Shit-the-bed: Verb used to identify the process of breaking. "Lower Level, what's that noise?" "Maneuvering, Lower Level, #3 ASW Pump just shit the bed. Started #2." The typical result of a a piece of equipment that has just shit the bed is that it becomes broke-dick.

Silverwhales: Refers to the rather large fat women near Bangor, Washington, that are from Silverdale.

Smoking Hole: what an aircraft becomes if it crashes over land
Smooth Crotch: Derogatory term for a nuclear Electronics Technician.

Squishy: State resulting from being at sea too long; e.g., rolling gait, goofy, confused by traffic signals.

Suck Meter: Similar to a fun meter, this fictitious gauge displays how shitty a given situation is. "Cruise got extended indefinitely the day we were supposed to out-chop and head home? Man, my suck meter just red-lined!"
Summer creases: Military creases incorrectly or crookedly ironed into uniforms. "Some are here, some are there."
Swamp Donkey: an ugly woman you would have sex with if there were no other choices available.
Sweat the Bulkheads: Indoor PT during boot camp which doesn't stop until the bulkheads are running with condensate.

Sandbox, The: The pier liberty facilities at Jebel Ali. Sandbox Liberty means travel outside the port of Jebel Ali is not authorized. All you get is a "beer on the pier". Jebel Ali is AKA "Gerbil Alley".

Sea Daddy: Senior, more experienced sailor who unofficially takes a new member of the crew under his wing and mentors him.
Sea Going Bellhops: A derisive name for Marines. Refers to the fact that they act as flag officers' orderlies aboard ship. A good phrase to use when picking a fight with a Marine.
Sea Hag: Slutty woman who hangs around in front of the entrance to a base, hoping to pick up a Sailor. The Sea Hag is really looking for a meal ticket, bless her Sea Hag heart.
Sea Lawyer: An argumentative, cantankerous or know-it-all sailor. A sea lawyer is adept at using technicalities, half truths, and administrative crap to get out of doing work or anything else he doesn't want to do, and/or to justify his laziness.
Sea Stories: Often exaggerated or embellished tales from previous deployments or commands told by seniors to juniors. Sea Stories almost always involve alcohol. Good sea stories should always involve creative embellishment, in as much as you should tell it better than the guy you heard it from, with yourself (or an un-named "buddy") as the new star. Add some contemporary details and those youngsters are mesmerized, as they should be. Traditionally. fairy tales begin "Once Upon A Time..."; while sea stories begin "Now, this is no shit..." so as to tell them apart.

Yeah, actually I miss the colorful expressions and lingo of the navy. And trust me, we actually talked like this. This may take a while, but I'll get as many posted over time as I can.

Silly-vilian, out

Ramblin' Ed