Ramblin' Ed Abernathy: Home Again, or, I am Curious Yelling

Got home OK. Was a long, long flight, 6 hours to Japan, 1 hour layover, 11 hours to Chicago, 1 hour layover, 2 hours and some change to Tampa. Was glad to finally touch down home.

Our bags remained in Chicago overnight. Here's the set up. As we came off the plane at O'Hare we headed down to immigration. To our surprise, there was no one there, other than the officials. They immediately began yelling at us to move to this line or that. Welcome home. Basically, the first Americans we encountered upon landing yelled at us. But we got through them quickly and efficiently and I was happy for that.

On to customs. I had declared my clothes, cigars and souviners, so I figured I was covered. We got diverted for further search. They x-rayed our bags and then asked if we had any fruit, vegetables, meat or food. I said no. They asked again. I said no. They asked like 10 more times, I got agitated, and kept saying no. So they opened my bag, pulled out a sack of limes that I did not know was there, and fined me $300 on the spot. Luckily my wife decided this was the perfect time to become pissy and mouthy, so we ended up waiting 20 minutes for the paperwork and another 10 for a cashier to take our money. The wife knew she had those limes, and that pretty much ticked me off. We got her out of the area and the nice customs guy said to me, "You looked pretty surprised. Next time they ever ask if you have something, even if you're sure you don't, say 'Yes'. If they don't find anything that's cool. But if they do, then you told them yes an they won't fine you." That sounds like good advice to me.

I don't know what it is. A total stranger can tell my wife that if she accidentially swallows a grape seed monkeys will shoot out of her butt and she'll take it as gospel. But if I tell her anything, like, oh let's say, we can't bring fruits and vegetables into the country from Thailand, well brother, I'm just bumping my gums.

Anyway, between waiting for the luggage, and then waiting around in customs, cooling our heels like the lime smuggling petty criminals that we apparently were, we ate away about 50 minutes of our hour layover. We dropped the bags off to be shuttled over to our domestic flight and took off at a trot for Terminal 1 and our plane, praying that the security checkpoint didn't doom us, which it didn't. We stepped into the jetway just as they announced final boarding call. I told the wife on the train that our bags were never going to make the plane and, upon arrival in Tampa, I was proven correct. The guy has already called this morning and they should be delivered sometime in the next hour or so.

Here's the last of the pics I plan to post. Make sure to utilize the patented GIT BIGGERIZER function. It brings out the details I so lovingly captured for you. Me? Why I'm off for L.A. Will probably post from there.

Completely unmoved by the half-hanging snot of silence, out

Ramblin' Ed

A typical night with the family gathered around the TV. Note how quickly I got into my jammies after all those hours oftravelling.

My typical view of any sporting event I really, really care about. This was Wake Forest beating Duke.

Grandmom. The main reason we went on vacation was to visit her.

Typical scene at any traffic light in Thailand.

I like the kid peeking out to make sure everything is still OK.

Nong. Or as I have to call her, "Other Nong".

Feeding the girls. It's what I do. (Nong, Other Nong, Cherry)

One of these people is way happier than the others.

I was using a borrowed cell phone. I was calling to tell the wife I wasn't schlepping all the way across town to buy t-shirts like she wanted. I dropped the phone. It bounced once. Then guess where it went. Yep. So I had to schlep all the way across town, but to say "I am not happy about coming all the way over here to buy t-shirts. By the way, Ouen's phone is in the gutter now."