Better to lose a lover than to love a loser

You know, when we were in our 20s we just did things. I told a girl that we ought to date, so we did. But it stayed pretty long distance most of the time, so I asked her to quit her job. So she did. Then we decided to get married. Just like that. A pinkie shake and it was a done deal. We'll marry now. Then came the tough questions from the family like...when? When? Hmmmm hadn't really thought about it. So I pulled a date out of thin air (kinda sorta - though there is slightly more story to it than that), asked the girl if that date would work for her. Her reply of "Whatever" sealed the deal. We got married. We moved around. We started and quit jobs. Your twenties are so great. You can do whatever you want. And if it all heads south on you, you just pick yourself up and start over. But you don't make so much money though. That's what your fifties are for.

So, Coal Miner's Daughter has all these recipes and food concoctions she posts on her blog. I used to do more of that. The high point of my food-centric posts being, in my opinion, being the February 2005 post on the "Hamdog Cheeseburger". I repost it here in its entirety:

Hamdog cheeseburger w/ cayenne

OK dudes and dudettes. Appalachian kinfolk and Idahosers. Take note, all. I made a cool sandwich yesterday. I do not know that it has never been made before, as it was itself inspired by another sandwich I read about and also it seems to me SOMEBODY else would have tried this by now. But I had never heard of or seen it before so when I thought of it I went ahead and made it a reality. It goes like this here:

I took ground beef and made a round, very thin patty. I laid 3/4 of a hot dog on top of it. Alongside the hot dog I laid a goodly sized rectangular piece of Swiss cheese. I sprinkled it liberally (I know, the L word, but in this case "conservatively" would not be the right way to go) with crushed cayenne peppers, although cursed cayenne peppers may work just as well. I covered it over with another very thin patty. [Ed. note - I almost called it a "meat hat", but that sounded kinda gross.] This made for a fairly good sized burger, oh I'd say about a 1/4 pounder size.

Then I struck that sucker on the ol' George Foreman for 12 minutes until it was good and cooked and the cheese was starting to ooze out. Mmmm-mmmmm...good eating.

You're welcome. You may all benefit from my selfless research.

Mmmmmeat, out.

Now I have not reached such culinary heights in a while. But I did find an interesting recipe for a quick, yet wonderfully tasty, lunch sandwich. I take Italian sandwich bread, but you could probably use...well, just use what I tell you. I'm directing this joint. So you take the bread and toast it the toaster oven. On the tray, so one side is toasted and crunchy and the other side is all warm, but soft. Italian sandwich bread, much like their wedding vows, got a lot of holes in it, so you gotta work around that. Now, you get a big old gob of crunchy peanut butter. I have been using the stuff from the Dollar Store, but I give you leeway on this. I think you should follow directions, but some folks, for some fool reason, are not keen on Dollar Store groceries. Anyway, spread that big old gob down thick and smooth, the peanut butter making like a tasty brown Spackle to fill in the holes in the bread. Then... yes, there's a then. Up to now it's just a peanut butter sandwich..... you pull out the can of Pillsbury Vanilla Frosting and lather up the soft warm inside of the other slice of bread. Yeah, I know, you already know how good that tastes.

Life is a pretty big bummer right now. Not going into details, at all, but I have been fined heavily by the county, have impending legal troubles, and feel frazzled at work. I got myself a prescription for anxiety medicine and have signed up for counseling. I want to get back to my mellow old hippie self soon. But when it rains bad luck, seems it pours. Anyway, with that said my rather long absence from posting recently is explained.

Will fill in the details one day if I feel I need to. Otherwise, to quote the master himself, David Letterman, "I wouldn't give my troubles to a monkey on a rock. Poems below.

Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was, out
Ramblin' Ed

White Stained

Did you smile cuz you knew I would tumble?
Could you wait or did you just have to tell?
Could you see that I wore my fears just like a bandana?
Crashed down and see how hard I fell
Crashed down and see how hard it felt
The sidewalk where we saw our secrets spilled.

Did you see me go running for cover?
See me hide from the light of day?
Must have known I would call you up when I was all wasted.
Jacked up and crying on the line
Smacked around and grabbing for a time
The promises had not yet gone to lies.

Seems your smile used to come more freely.
Your eyes used to dance and laugh whenever I'd call.
You were my muse and I was your hard luck hero.
White stained and crooked as they came.
White stains too easy, don't they say.
Honey, I don't see you 'round too much these days.

Smoked the butt to the end and that's when I flicked the filter.
Shower of sparks that died in the gutter drain.
What is there left but to turn and to walk off slowly?
Oh darling, if I pray it will...
do you reckon maybe time would just stand still?
On this sidewalk where we saw our secrets spilled.

This sidewalk where we saw our secrets spilled.

Ed
CPOQ B308
Yokosuka


Amber

The air was still and I felt the thrill
of having you close by.
Love, and dreams of sex, and alcohol.

You smiled at me, heart skipped a beat.
You whispered in my ear.
Elvis smiled from the velvet on the wall.

Been a lonely rolling stone
coming to a rest.
Been a lot of things gone wrong
but I think I liked you best.
Bourbon talks straight on the rocks
and love's a dangerous thing.
Hey Amber,girl, let me be your slave.

The lightning bugs lit up the woods
with pinpoints of delight.
The shadows rolled in close and teased the moon.

You said "let's dance" and threw a glance
off somewhere in your mind.
I played a song so slow it left the room.

Been a lonely rolling stone
coming to a rest.
Been a lot of things gone wrong
but I think I liked you best.
Bourbon talks straight on the rocks
and love's a dangerous thing.
Hey Amber,girl, let me be your slave.

A pile of clothes, like do's and don'ts
lay crumpled on the floor.
No damage done, it wasn't far to fall.

Slow and smooth, the earth don't move
but Amber saw it all.
And Elvis smiled from the velvet on the wall.

Been a lonely rolling stone
coming to a rest.
Been a lot of things gone wrong
but I think I liked you best.
Bourbon talks straight on the rocks
and love's a dangerous thing.
Hey Amber,girl, let me be your slave.

Hey Amber,girl, let me be your slave.

Ed
Norfolk, VA

They're so cute when they're apathetic

After I had been in Boston 2 days during a pretty wicked nor'easter, I sent this email back to some friends in Florida :
Well, it finally quit raining sideways long enough to try to snow. Failing that, it continued raining sideways a while longer. After 2 days though, it looks like the rain has stopped. The sun is making a cautious appearance and I must say it is quite beautiful as it reflects off of the massive flooding. Wish you were here. Ed

That was a true assessment at the time. However, soon after writing that the sun came out good, the wind shifted from the west, and it turned into a gorgeous, gorgeous day. I have to be fair about that.

From the St. Petersburg Times recently:
A Florida native, Hastings has served in Congress since 1993, when he became Florida's first African-American member since Reconstruction. Earlier he worked as a lawyer and a federal judge, until he was removed from office for bribery and perjury. (Emphasis is mine)

We are hooking up tonight (it was St. Paddy's day when I started this post) with a bud from Canada and an old boss who lives here for a double celebration. Seems like my co-worker, Johnny FN, is turning 30 today. Today being St. Patricks Day. St. Patricks Day in Boston. Where there are, I suspect, more than a few citizens of Irish descent. Brian is driving us into South Boston where he says the real Irish pubs are. Then leaving us there. Well, that's harsh. But we are taking the train home.

------ Now I am home-----

I filled out my census form when I got back from MA. It was waiting on me. I had been reading in the USA Today how some folks chafed at the personal question of "What is your phone number?" Seriously? You have a problem with that? You will give that info to a 19 year old clerk at Tire Kingdom to buy mud tires for your F-150 at 90 days same as cash, but not to the government for help allocating federal funding and congressional seats.

Then I read that others had a problem with stating their race, wanting everyone to mark "Other" and write in "American" because, you know, American is now a race and not a nationality. I suspect the information is used for purposes such as identifying the changes in our racial makeup over the last 10 years and probably in some way for ensuring fairness in elections and congressional districts. But what do I know, I'm just a dumb-ass caucasion.

I filled the whole form out in 5 minutes, for both the wife and myself. I found nothing even remotely objectionable. And when I was done I remember thinking, "That's it? They didn't really ask anything."

And while we are on the subject of the dysfunctional.... It looks like health care will pass. Finally. I think the GOP has been unconscionable in it's opposition and especially its tactics. C'mon--Death Squads for Grandma?? Concerns...debates...parry and thrusts...all OK. Democracy is compromise. But for the greater good.

But the (false) alarms and (fake) hysteria by some politicians has been ridiculous. I mean, if the Democrats are all going to pay, and pay BIG, during the next elections for passing this bill, I just don't understand why they haven't just shut up and gotten the heck out of the way. Let 'em pass the bill, and then the right minded and righteous should be able to just take a leisurely stroll into the vacated seats when they all get voted out. I mean, it'll be that easy, right? Or is there the tiniest chance that the changes will improve things? That's the question, I suppose.

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off, out
Ramblin' Ed

BUZZ 17 Sep 2003

You don't know what I'm after
You don't know what I bring
You don't know where I've been to
You don't know where I'll be

Tatoos might tell stories
You don't know how they end
Hide your eyes 'neath the covers
Your lovers can't be your friends

Feel the night's dark and warm embrace
Had it once but it all slipped away

You confused pain and passion
You can't tell hope from fear
You were there for a moment
almost crystal and clear

You reached out for a heartbeat
grabbed it right by the throat
left it dying and bleeding
by the side of your sad, lonely road

Let the night hide the stains from our eyes
'Cause life can get messy sometimes

And the buzz
that was love
kinda stings.

Your smile was my weakness
It was wicked and sweet
I was stealing your kisses
You were poisoning me

We were painting our picture
Using nothing but grays
We were telling our story
We were having our say

And the night's aimless shadows are all
That we hang in the end on our wall

The drugs killed the pain for a while
But a world free of tears is a lie

Ed
22 Kamakura Heights