A man walks into a room.....

What about that place Payless Shoes? Is that truth in advertising, or what? We walked out with 4 pairs for $21, which is a good deal in my view.

Wallpaper for 3 1/2 rooms came up to $1200, but that was including borders. The pattern we had picked for 4th room was discontinued, so back to the drawing board on that one. It's a lot less than I had expected though. Now I can afford to have it professionally hung.

Some women get it and some don't. Whoa, whoa, whoa there Missy. Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm talking about men and interior decorating. We approach it from a different angle from the git go.

A man walks into a room with tan wallpaper on the walls. He thinks to himself (if he thinks about it at all), "My walls are tan." His wife walks into the same room, looks at the walls and sees what they will be...and it's not this.

I think the whole thing is akin to the way a dog marks his territory. She looks at the wallpaper, sees another womans hand which causes some sort of primal instinct to kick in, and she sets about removing all traces of the previous, offending woman. It is truely weird to behold.

Now when I said some women get it I meant, some women understand that men don't care. Not at all. Doesn't make the Top 100 on their list of concerns and they only want to get involved when it comes time to pay somebody.

Those that get it will set about to decorating to their heart's content, mixing and matching, sneaking in some new furniture items and maybe some carpet while their husband mows the grass and tinkers with the sprinkler system. Once she is where she wants to be with the decorating, she will come to her husband and ask for the checkbook, which he will gladly fork over. Because guys will let you spend a little more than they had wanted to spend if it'll keep them from having to get involved. This couple is Mr. & Mrs. Bliss.

The other poor girl, who is destined to earn the nickname "my ex", drags her husband kicking and fussing into the process. She does not get it. She will make her husband help pick out wallpaper. He will have to learn foreign words like "swatch". And here is how her husband will shop for wallpaper: Open book, look at a sample. Decide that, "Hey, this banana leaf pattern ain't bad." Look at another sample. "This apricot and aqua stripes ain't bad, either." Pause a second to ponder. Then, "Let's get the banana leaf stuff." And as far as he's concerned, we're done. Any further perusing is just madness because as we're burning daylight here that grass ain't mowing itself and that sprinkler head ain't jumping back on that PVC pipe 'cause it just wants to.

OK, done beat that horse to death.

Hey, what's the difference between?
Between what?
Nawwww...I ain't giving you no clues.

Bought the wife her cell phone yesterday. Hard to just get a phone anymore, kept wanting to sell me the internet for my pocket. Eventually I found a pay-as-you-go system from Verizon. Not the best deal, I don't think, but I'm not yet familiar with the plans and rates in the States yet, so paying as I go seems safe enough for now.

Now the wife only knows me and my parents here. And I didn't bother to activate my phone because I still have a free one a dude gave me as I was leaving Japan. It had 700 minutes on it when he gave it to me, probably still has 685 on it. I'm not personally concerned that my phone number says I'm in Chula Vista, CA instead of Tampa, FL.

But she felt naked without a phone at hand, and in most situations I don't really want her naked in public. I mean it's true. I really am a kind and caring sort of dude. It's just kinda hard to tell because I'm....well, not manly exactly...or always working on something... or hanging out with the guys so much. Oh yes, it's kinda hard to tell how kind and caring I am because I'm always complaining. Yep, that about covers it.

I have typed a lot. And if you are way down here with me then you've read a lot. I apologize that there was no blood and guts today. Or anything knee slappingly funny. Or any real point to my long, yet boring stories. There was, however...no, that was yesterday. Never mind. Today was an off day. Better luck next time. With a name like "Ramblin' Ed", you've got to expect some disappointments.

Random quote: "We're from the lost Fugarwi tribe." --Traditional high school joke.

Mango is both a fruit and a town in Florida. Surprising but true. Out.
Ramblin' Ed