Wednesday, February 01, 2006

She just had the cutest little elbow shadow & other stories

Telephones Stratocaster Uniforms Viceroys Wikipedia

There are patterns and there are patterns that I cannot discern. 100% of the Ask Marilyn (the mensa chick) puzzles for figuring out a pattern escape me. Lines hold my attention, circles and curls amuse me. Abstracts clash with my sense of order and furrow my brow. I do not rail against abstracts, just seek to avoid them as they not fit into neat cubbyholes and life should remain fairly orderly. Cool and even spontaneous are OK, and can actually remain orderly, if you practice it in the form that I do... which I do.

If I were a vegetable, I'd want to be a banana. It's a pretty noble fruit, if you ask me. But that's the problem. It's not a vegetable, it's a fruit. So in order to stay within guidelines, I think I'd have to say mashed potatos. I'd hang out with baby carrots because they're so nubby and I think that's cool.

First car I ever took out for a spin without permission was a Plymouth Fury III. I didn't find it particulary stylish, but it was powerful. And, more importantly, I knew where to find the key. The last car I ever took out for a spin without permission was a Plymouth Fury III. That there is the beginning and end of one of my long, drawn out autobiographical posts. You can surmise the middle part, I reckon.


(Not the right year)


Freezers Gym shorts Hoagies Indiana Jingles

All of my adolescent life wanted long, flowing hair. Not so much now. But I do still get nostalgic when I hear a Partridge Family or Monkees song. But the hair thing, I think I'm over it.

Sienfeld and 2 1/2 Men make me split my sides laughing. My Name Is Earl makes me laugh out loud. But I think that the funniest two shows on TV are Simpsons and Family Guy. They're on a whole different level. I laugh out loud less, but apprieciate them more.

Somehow, I don't even think checkered socks are a good idea. C'mon, really.

If I had to be a bug, I think Dragonfly would be OK. They're cool looking. I'd stay near the water and away from highways though. You know the joke... what's the last thing that goes through a bugs mind as he hits the windshield?

If I had to be a verb, I suppose I'd be ponder. But I think I'd make a better adverb. I am much better and amplifying and modifying other people and am prone to inaction when left alone. Never mind what it says on my resume about being a self starter and all. It also says I enjoy working, so basically it's just one lie right after the other.

Notice Ostrich Perfume Quintuplets Renderings Spa

On the spot rhyme, 1 verse, no storyline needed. Just wanna see what comes out. Sip of coffee, check. Crack knuckles, check. Cats off desk, check and check. Begin:

Hey diddle diddle
got me caught up in the middle
of nothing I'd been asking you for
I'm kinda simple (as men go)
more like an innuendo
But I ain't afraid to show you the door

OK, not too shabby, rhyme wise, but kinda a generic Ed thing going on. No snap. No pop. Just words. I'll give it a C.



See y'all on the flip flop. I'll be wearing a pair and wishing I had lived Jimmy Buffett's life. Up until he went all broadway and stuff, anyway. The pirate days.

If I had to be a fungus, you'd find me among us, out
Ramblin' Ed

3 comments:

Blogger Hill Billy Rave said...

Where did you find the Flip Flop People?
8 Letters! It's an outrage!

9:03 PM  
Blogger Gun Trash said...

I don't think I've ever owned checkered socks. You're right about there's really no need for such an item of clothing. I can't imagine any occasion that would call for them.

If being an adjective were the requirement, I think I'd go for patient as I think there's a lot of wisdom in that old adage about The patient man knows piece of mind.

9:19 PM  
Blogger Ramblin' Ed said...

AI, I think the flip flop people were protesting at a Kerry rally, but I liked how it fit what I said about I'd be wearing flip flops.

Amen, brther, about the socks. But I seen 'em with my own two peepers.
I know you are atient, and probably pretty gentle also. I, too, am patient, ai just don't think I am more patient than ponderous.

Oh yeah. AI, you get 8 until your own site lightens up on me a little. You've been told.

6:37 AM  

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