You're serious? Nice to meet you, I'm Roebuck.

I am not known for being too deadly serious, which I suppose is why I've never been invited to emcee a funeral. I can do serious. I can do sincere. I can do the opening song from Rocky Horror Picture Show, although I cannot manifest as just a set of lips.

I know in my life I have worn paisley polyester shirts, elephant bell pants and platform shoes. During the seventies I actually wore a tight jumpsuit sometimes. I let people think what they will about why I only wore it a few times, but the truth is pretty simple. It wasn't because I protruded in all the wrong places. Nope. It was because, as a dude, I couldn't deal with the total lack of pockets. Men need pockets.

If it can be joked about, I do. If it shouldn't be joked about, I do. Then I realize my mistake and apologize, knowing the damage is already done. But I'm a decent enough guy and have never been accused of being mean spirited. So most folks let me slide.

Why do I tell you this? No reason. I intend to write some light hearted stuff today. I mean I'm no Hemmingway, but I could easliy get fat, grow a beard and smoke cigars in a Hemmingway-esque fashion. Eventually, like Hemmingway, I will pass on to the great writers guild in the sky. But mostly the similarities would end with fat and bearded. So yo yo peeps, I press on.

My father was talking to my wife yesterday, which removes any doubt as to wheter or not he is a kind and patient man, and she was telling him about "her baby". Her "baby" is Pepe the Cat. Now, as you recall, Pepe is a dog that is trapped inside a cat's body(which is good for him because it allows him to live inside instead of out). Pepe has a new trick. You dog owners may recognize it, but cat owners may not. It works like this here:

Nong will throw a stick and Pepe will run after it and get it. Then he will bring it back and get into a pull fight with Nong as she tries to take it back. Eventually, being like 50 times his size, she will prevail. She will throw it again ahd he will, as if he a has learned nothing from the previous exchange, go get it again. It is a game I have dubbed "fetch". We used to call it "stick gitting", but it was a rather too hillbilly-ish sounding name.

Now dad, working the dog trapped in a cat's body theme, says that Pepe is a "transvestcat". That is a pretty fair assumption, really, although it does pull up one too many disturbing mental images of Pepe in bright red lipstick staring straight at me. But like I said, it was a pretty good description. It also made me think of another possible label for the dog in a cat's body condition. That is, "feline impersonator". OK, now you know. I will also accept your entry, if you have one.

Jn, to answer your question, I chose the name Ed like I chose to be born in Raleigh. In other words, I was not consulted. I was one of the wee folk, pretty much all about the crying and crapping. Mom and Dad hung the moniker William Edward on me, either to honor or piss off each of their fathers, William (mom's dad) and Edward (dad's dad, or dad squared). Then they called me Eddie. OK, that was cool all the way up to and through high school. But then I started working, having legal documents, banking, etc., etc. and it became a little confusing. Normally I can just say, "My name is William, but I go by Ed".

Where I work now, they solicit feedback from customers, many of them feeble minded. Since the survey is computer generated and goes out automatically, and since it will refer to me as William, and since I am one of only a few that provides outstanding customer service and can expect feedback that will aid in getting pay raises, I just start out with, "Hello. My name is William..."

AI had a great quote in a comment yesterday, so I pull it up to the front:
OH, speaking of weddings...please remind me not to be in a wedding again. Unless it's my own. And then only maybe.

Like a batter on a 3rd strike fast ball, I am outta here.

I-I-I-I-I'm not your stepping stone, out
Ramblin' Ed